“What? No, you have to get something!” I urged. “This place is half of the reason Bri and I keep coming here!”
“No, it’s okay. I’m not sure I can handle any sweets right now.”
I frowned at his obvious attempt at a lie. “Well, then I’ll get you something to take home. Pick whatever you want.”
Alex clenched his teeth, looking away. “Fine.”
I tried to make eye contact with him while we made our way through the line, but he was distancing himself from me, going so far as to drop my hand and shove it into his pocket. I didn’t want to let it sting, but it did. It felt like rejection, especially since I didn’t understand what had caused the abrupt change in his attitude.
We sat with the group outside by a large fire, and Veronica pulled everyone into an elaborate story of her job as a youth counselor for disadvantaged kids. I tried to pay attention, since it had been at least a year since I’d seen her, but I had trouble focusing. I’d even lost all interest in the saltwater taffy, which was one of my favorite things about coming to Silverwood. Usually, I’d eat so much that I would go home with a stomachache, but now, I could barely finish more than a couple of pieces.
After about a half hour, Alex finally looked at me, offering me a very small smile. It wasn’t much, but I clung to that with everything I had, praying we’d have a chance to talk about whatever was bothering him. Pulling a piece of taffy out of the bag, I unwrapped it and offered it to him, finding some relief when he plucked it from my fingers with his lips. After chewing on it awkwardly for several minutes, Alex leaned in to kiss me. It wasn’t filled with promises like I was becoming used to, but at least it was something.
I thought about what I’d told Bri the other day, about how I was falling in love with Alex. The twist of fear in my gut that had been telling me something was wrong these last few days had left no doubt in my mind that I’d been right that day. Ididlove Alex, even if it was too soon to admit it. But now, I felt like we were barreling toward the finish line and our brakes lines had been cut. I wanted to scream for help, plead for someone to catch us before we fell over the cliff, but I wasn’t sure how. Most of all, I didn’t understandwhythis was happening. I needed to talk to him, and soon.
Reaching for his hand, I squeezed, trying to say with my touch what I couldn’t say out loud yet.I love you, Alex. I’ll always love you.
I searched his eyes for even a hint of a reply, but there was none. Only gentle concern, keeping me at an arm’s distance.
22
By Monday, I was certain something had changed for Alex. I just still couldn’t figure out what it was. He’d ghosted me most of Sunday, spending all day in the loft and taking Roxy on an extended walk in the sling. I’d tried to convince myself everything was okay, that it was even healthy for us to have some time apart. By the time he returned from his walk, it had seemed like maybe that’s all it was. He’d walked in the door, smiling and genuinely happy. So maybe he really did just need a little time apart.
But late Monday afternoon, about an hour before Roxy was scheduled to have her cast removed, Melanie pulled me aside. “What’s going on with Alex?” she asked.
I nearly breathed a sigh of relief that someone else had seen through his façade. “You see it too?”
She nodded, her hazel eyes full of concern.
“I have no idea. Something changed this weekend.”
“I’d say. I heard him on the phone earlier, asking about a place to stay.”
My stomach dropped. “What?”
She nodded again, placing a hand on my arm. “Talk to him, Vaughn. Before it’s too late.”
“I don’t know what to say. He doesn’t like to be pushed.”
Melanie’s huff of annoyance told me she saw right through my pathetic excuse—not that I was surprised. We’d known each other a long time. She must have seen how hard I’d fallen for Alex these last six weeks and how much he was worth the fight.
Giving me another one of her mother-hen glares, she said, “No, you just hate confrontation, soyoudon’t push people. But in this case, I think he needs it. He needs to know he has a reason to stay, Vaughn.”
“He does know.”Doesn’t he?He’d overheard me telling Bri that I loved him, wasn’t that enough?
Melanie gave my arm a quick squeeze. “Maybe he doesn’t as much as you think he does. Maybe you need to spell it out for him in a way that will pull the brakes on whatever he’s planning.”
My heart hurt as I looked out the window. Alex was attaching a sheet of plastic to one side of the dog runs to block the bitter winter wind. His breaths were coming out in short white puffs, making me glad he was at least still wearing the jacket and gloves I’d given him. His blond hair was blowing in every direction, which seemed to perfectly reflect his suddenly fleeting heart.
“Talk to him,” Melanie urged.
“I will,” I said, forcing myself to turn away. I needed to be alone for a few minutes to try to calm the growing ache in my chest. I still had to get through the rest of the day before I’d have a chance to talk things over with Alex.
The last hour dragged by, every minute feeling like ten, and when I finally heard Alex’s deep voice coming from the front door, along with the excited whines of Roxy, I felt like I was a spring that had been wound too tight.
“Yeah, I know, girl. It’s pretty exciting,” he cooed, laughing at her antics.
Alex was wearing that ridiculous baby carrier again, so I could only see Roxy’s head sticking out through the hot pink folds of material. I tried to smile when Roxy barked at me excitedly, but it fell flat.
