“Race ya?” Isaac said to his brother.
The three of us made our way over to join them. Jake was standing behind Harrison at the pinball machine, controlling the higher arms while Harrison managed the lower ones to keep the ball active.
“No, no, no! Quick, get it before it… yes! Good job, Harris,” Jake encouraged, quickly ruffling the kid’s hair before returning to the game.
I stood to the side, my attention more on Jake and Harris than what they were doing. I was beginning to accept that Jake might have been right. I wanted a family more than I ever thought I did. And more than that, I wanted it with Jake. It had moved me beyond words to see the two of them together this last week, filling me with a deep need I hadn’t even known existed. I wondered if anything had changed for Jake or if he’d still adamantly refuse to take that risk. He was far better with Harrison than he gave himself credit for, and I knew if he ever did take that chance, he’d be a great father someday. The kind of father Harrison needed. It almost hurt to remember this was only temporary.
I had to be careful with those thoughts though. If Jake knew what I was thinking, it might push him too far. I knew he loved me, but I was starting to wonder if it would be enough for him. In a lot of ways, I felt like he would always have one foot out the door, ready to bolt if things became too serious. And fuck, it sucked to feel that way. I was hopelessly in love with Jake, so I just wanted him to show me he was committed too. We still hadn’t talked about my unexpected declaration last week, but Jake wasn’t the kind of person to take that lightly, so I figured it was never far from his mind. I just needed to be patient and trust things would work out.
One day at a time,I reminded myself.
The arcade suddenly lit up and Harrison groaned. “Nooo! Jake! You let it get by you!”
“Sorry, kiddo,” he said in a flat tone.
My heart plummeted when I lifted my gaze to see Jake had been watching me this whole time. I tried to play it off as me simply admiring Harrison’s skill, but Jake knew me too damn well for that. He would have read my desires like an open book.
“My turn, Sport,” I said, pulling some quarters from my pocket. “I think I should try.”
Harrison jumped, excited. “Yes!”
Jake didn’t budge when I tried to take his place behind Harrison, and when I finally met his eyes, they weren’t as closed off as I’d expected. He kissed me softly before stepping aside, as if trying to reassure me that we were okay. I wasn’t sure I believed it, because how could we be if our hearts wanted two different things?
