The bitter, sweet, ugly truth hit me like a knife to the gut.
This was how Riley was going to tell me how he felt about me when I got back from New York. With our beloved comic book.
Oh God, Riley…
My sister’s betrayal was like a bullwhip to my heart, tearing me open and I cried out. I couldn’t believe she had known. My own sister had known all along how Riley felt about me and didn’t once tell me. Worse, she’d hidden our book.OUR BOOK!Aside from Riley himself, this had been the thing I’d cried the most over. She knew what it meant to me and how much it tore me up that I didn’t have it. The loss of it haunted me nearly as much as the loss of Riley had. It was the one thing I’d wished I had to remember him by, the one thing missing from the box of things Tracy and Harold had given us after he left. I’d always assumed it was because he took it. But it must’ve been in that box, because how else would Tosh have it?
That meant only one thing. Tosh had lied. My own fucking sister had lied to me!
I tossed the pile of shit on the bed in the duffle and raced back to the hospital. Harper was out of surgery and in a recovery room when I finally found them. Ben was gone, and Tosh was standing beside her daughter’s bed, holding her hand. I was thankful Harper was still asleep from the anesthesia because I didn’t want her to see me this angry. I placed her favorite stuffed owl on the bed beside her- the one I had given her when she was five- so she’d know I had been there. After whispering in her ear how much I loved her, I motioned for my sister to join me in the hall.
As soon as the door was shut behind her, I pulled the book from the bag. Tosh’s eyes went wide with horror, glancing between me and what was in my hand.
“Why?” was the only word I could manage to get out.
Her ashen face did nothing to calm my anger and her silence only amplified it.
“WHY, TOSH? WHY DID YOU HIDE THIS?” I screamed. “WHY DID YOU FUCKING LIE TO ME? All this time!” I heard my voice break but couldn’t be bothered to care.
Ben came around the corner, a candy bar in one hand. His steps faltered when he took in the scene. I could tell by the look on his face he knew exactly what was going on which meant he had known, too. His betrayal cut me even deeper than Tosh’s had. Ben had been the one to hold me as I cried nearly every night for months after Riley had left, and he was the one who continued to help me search for him, long after Tosh—my own sister—had given up hope that he would return. He had been furious with Riley for not bothering to contact us after he left, saying it was heartless and cruel. He’d even threatened to kick Riley’s ass if he ever showed up again, just for breaking my heart. Ben had been there for me, far more than Tosh ever had.
But clearly, he’d played me too.
“You too?” I choked, silently praying I was wrong.
“No, Beck, he didn’t know, I swear!” Tosh pleaded. “I didn’t tell anyone. Ben didn’t know until two nights ago.” Her lip quivered as she folded her arms over her chest.
Ben came to stand beside us. No, besideme,I realized. His eyes were granite when he turned to Tosh. “Tell him the rest or I will.”
Tosh hung her head. “I can’t.”
“Natasha!” Ben demanded. I don’t think I’d ever heard Ben use her full name before, that alone made me realize how dire the situation was. Whatever else Tosh was hiding from me was going to shred me.
But how much worse could it be?
Tosh looked over her shoulder at Harper’s room, we could see through the window that my niece hadn’t even flinched.
“The doctor said it’ll still be another hour at least,” Ben insisted. “Tell him.”
“What the fuck else are you keeping from me?” I asked in a dangerously low voice.
She closed her eyes and looked away, defeat evident in her posture. It took all my self-control not to throttle her and I was actually glad when Ben took the book from me, since I could feel it start to bend between my fingers. I shoved both of my hands deep in my pockets, just to keep from hurting my stupid, stupid sister.
“TELL ME!” I roared.
“Sir, please keep your voice down,” a nurse said from somewhere nearby.
Tosh took a slow, measured breath. “Several years ago, I got a letter from the lawyer who helped us when I got custody of you.”
“What letter?” I ground out through gritted teeth.
“It was from Riley’s grandfather. He went through child services to get the lawyers contact information. He was requesting permission to contact you.”
“WHAT?”
Tosh rushed to explain. “You had just been home on leave and you were so emotionally unstable. I was so scared for you, you know? I thought… I thought you’d do something stupid like abandon your time in the army. And it was just a few weeks after I saw Riley, and-“
Rage like I’d never known surged through me, blinding me. All I saw was red. “YOU SAW HIM?”
