“Beckett!” my friend snapped.
“I just need to be alone right now. See you back at the hotel.”
I strolled through the quiet streets, breathing in the clean night air. It was much more relaxing, free of the smog I’d grown accustomed to back in Atlanta. The shops were like something out of a romance novel, with picturesque awnings and cute coordinating colors. There were benches about every thirty feet looking out over the harbor where about three dozen ships of all sizes rested in their docks. I went toward them, drawn to the water like a bug to a light. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen the ocean, but I knew it had been too damn long, that was for sure. The stars were brighter here, without the glow of the city to diffuse them, and the moon seemed more at peace as it hung high in the sky, its light dancing over the waves. Everything about the scene made me slow my steps and breathe a little deeper.
The sound of a dog barking made me look up. A man was throwing a ball for a golden retriever about fifty feet away. The dog was smaller than the average-sized golden and clearly had the energy of a young dog. She bounded around her owner’s legs each time she retrieved the ball, and he’d give her a quick pat on the head or scratch her ears before throwing it again. I could tell from his body language he was laughing at the dog’s antics, though I couldn’t hear it over the gentle roar of the ocean.
There was something in the way he held himself that seemed familiar. The way he wrapped his arms around his body, as though to ward off a chill despite it being a warm summer’s night. It was a posture I’d seen a thousand times before on someone else, a lifetime ago.
I watched him for a few minutes before my phone rang, tearing my focus away.
My sister’s name appeared on the screen and I pressed accept. “Hey, Tosh.”
“Hey!” she said, rather breathless. “This a good time?”
“Yeah. I’m in Reedsport with Jake on a case. What’s up?”
“Reedsport?” she asked, surprised. “South Carolina?”
“Yeah.”
“Wow. I haven’t been to the Carolinas in a long time. Anyway, so, you know how you told me to call you if something ever happened to Harper?”
“Yeahhhh…” I replied warily.
“Well, something happened.”
My steps faltered. “What? Is she okay?” I thought about my niece and felt my breath hitch. If she was hurt and I couldn’t get to her…
“She has a boyfriend,” Tosh said, clearly amused. “His name is Devon.”
There was probably only one person in this world who could make me laugh these days, and it was a seven-year-old little girl named Harper. “A boyfriend, huh?” I said, chuckling.
“Apparently it’s pretty serious, too,” Tosh continued. “She told him to call you Uncle B when he meets you because they’ll be married one day anyway.”
I belted out a laugh as I sat on the sand, staring out into the deep waters. “Is that so?”
Tosh tried to carry on a conversation with me for a few more minutes, but soon my replies became nothing more than one-word answers. She picked up on my mood rather quickly.
“Hey, you okay? You sound kind of melancholy.”
I took in a deep breath and chose not to answer. She wouldn’t like my answer anyway. Tosh and her husband, Ben, were the only two people in the world who knew what Riley truly meant to me. How he wasn’t only my best friend, but that I had started to give my heart to him when I was only seventeen. They knew there was hardly a day that went by that I didn’t miss him or hope for his return, and Tosh absolutely hated that I couldn’t let him go. She’d told me once, she blamed Riley for my apathetic heart because when he’d “up and left,” he took half my heart with him. I hadn’t disagreed because that’s honestly what it felt like some days. Rileyhadtaken half my heart with him, but deep down, I also knew whatever happened was out of his control. He never would have willingly left me the way he did. I don’t know how I knew that, but I did. So, I couldn’t blame him the way Tosh did.
Despite her callus views, Tosh was a good sister. She tried to help me find him for a few years after his disappearance, searching online and asking neighbors or teachers if they’d heard anything, but her efforts came up just as empty as mine. She even begged child protective services to let us know what happened to him, but they’d told us his records were sealed and could not be discussed. Mrs. Henry had done the same thing with the same results. Over time, Tosh lost hope in Riley’s return and slowly began encouraging me to let him go. Now, I wasn’t even allowed to talk about him around her.
After a long stretch of silence, she groaned. “Don’t tell me it’shimagain.”
Him.Because she rarely said his name anymore.
“I can’t help it,” I said lamely. I would have tacked on anI miss him, but that felt it redundant.
“It’s been ten years, Beck. How can you miss someone you don’t even know anymore?”
“I’d know him,” I said softly. “If I saw him, I’d know him.”
I could practically see her rolling her eyes at me. “You can’t possibly believe that. Everyone changes. You’re a totally different person now than you were then. He will be, too. Hell, even I’ve changed! Please, Beck, you can’t keep doing this. It’s not healthy!”
I stood and brushed the sand from my ass. “Give Harper my love, will you? I’ll call you later.”
