Excitement filled me as we waited for the magic to unfold. It only took about five minutes before the leaves began rustling in the trees around us and Beckett became aware of why we were there. Perfect, beautiful melodies filled the chilly air as hundreds of birds sang their morning songs, echoing off the branches. Birds of all shapes and sizes began to take flight, some dancing in the air while scouring the ground for food. Every so often we’d see one dive down to the ground before racing back up to their nests in the trees.
I’d been here a hundred times, and it was just as breathtaking as the times before except this time, I was able to share with someone who would appreciate it just as much as I did. We used to love watching the birds from our tree house window when we were younger.
Beckett nudged my shoulders as he looked over at me. Pure joy shone behind his eyes, letting me know my early morning wake-up call was forgiven. As quietly as he could, he removed his camera and attached a wide-angle lens, peering through it at our surroundings. I was afraid the sound of the shutter would ruin the moment, but when he took the first picture, I barely heard even a whisper. It dawned on me then that he must have some pretty high-end equipment for his job.
I waited with anticipation as Beckett snapped picture after picture and knew the moment he found what I wanted him to see. He let out a soft gasp seconds before he lowered his camera and looked over at me with a questioning look. I nodded and smiled, letting him know I knew exactly what he was seeing. I could still remember how I’d felt the first time I spotted the pair of scarlet tanagers a few years ago. Tanagers were not birds that mated for life, but I always wondered if these two went against the norm and decided to stick together anyway. They looked like the same exact two birds, returning year after year to mate and build their nest in that tree. It always brought me a warm feeling of comfort every time I saw them together.
Today, though, I hardly noticed the pair or any of the birds for that matter. I was too busy studying the man next to me as he became completely lost in the moment, with his camera and the surroundings. Beckett truly was a beautiful man, but he was even more so when he let himself smile. The corners of his eyes crinkled, radiating the joy he usually kept safely tucked away from the world. I didn’t need to see him back home to know this was a side of him he rarely let others see. The evidence was clear on his face, between the worry lines around his mouth and that deep-set crease between his brows. It saddened me and made me wonder what kind of life he had now. I hoped our time together would give him some joy to carry with him when he went back.
Beckett took at least a hundred pictures before we made our way back to the car. The tips of our ears and noses were pink from the cold morning air, so I cranked the heat before turning to face him.
“Amazing, isn’t it?”
“That was incredible!” Beckett replied enthusiastically. “How’d you find that place?”
“Amelia’s dad, actually. He was a conservationist before he died. He was the one who installed all the nesting boxes you saw around. I love coming out here this time of year, just to listen and see them all.”
“I can see why.”
I still had my blanket around me as we talked and when Beckett noticed me shivering, he reached for my hands and began rubbing them between his own. I immediately tore my eyes away, afraid he’d see just what his touch did to me. When I felt my cheeks turning pink for a whole other reason besides the cold, I pulled my hands away and tucked them between my legs.
“I didn’t ask you yesterday. How long are you staying?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “As long as I need to solve the case. Maybe longer.”
His eyes held mind as he said those last two words, making his meaning clear. I wasn’t sure what to say to that, so I just nodded.
“So, what other insane plans do you have in store for me today?” he asked. “Maybe you can teach me a few things about forming metal? I’d love to learn.”
I managed to control my reaction and quickly looked for a safer topic of conversation. I was hesitant to invite Beckett back to my place. It was one of the few safe zones I had where I could really let my guard down and just be me. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to trust Beckett enough yet not to leave. If he did, especially after I invited him over, I knew it would cast a permanent shadow in the place that had given me so much joy.
Besides, the truth remained, I still didn’t know what our future held. Beckett didn’t know I was gay and I was uncertain how to tell him or how he’d react. It wasn’t something I’d made a big deal of before, but for some reason, with Beckett, it felt different, like it would alter his entire perspective of our childhood or something. Or maybe it was the fact that Beckett was the image of everything I wanted, everything I believed I needed in my life, and yet… he was so muchmore,somehow.He was more than I could ever hope for in a life partner. Not only was he the most gorgeous thing to walk the face of the earth, but he saved lives, brought people to justice, and reclaimed lost treasures which in turn restored joy in people’s lives. He really was the living version of my childhood superhero. What could I possibly have to offer him? All I did was create a little art for the world. Meaningless objects that took up space.
Beckett was still waiting for an answer, so I shook myself from my stupor and plastered a smile on my face.
“Do you like omelets? I didn’t have breakfast before I left and I’m starving. Maggie’s has the best omelets.”
If he was disappointed with my response, he managed not to show it. “Sure.”
