“When do you want me to leave?”
“Soon,” I said against her neck before I continued, alternating between kisses and tugging at her skin with my lips and teeth.
“But how soon?”
“Sophie, will you focus on this? I don’t want to talk about that right now.” I moved down her body, leaving a trail of kisses until I got to her waist, then slipped my arms under her legs before I moved up her body and pushed inside her.
All I wanted to do right now was feel her. She wasn’t thrilled about me sending her to Jamaica, but I meant what I said. I needed to be on my shit and couldn’t do that if she was around. I would constantly be worried about her, so this was the best option.
“Trooper…”
Her soft voice saying my name forced me to look down at her. Sophie’s eyes were closed, her head tilted back slightly, and her mouth open while her lips formed an O. It was sexy, and combined with the way it felt gliding in and out of her, I wasn’t going to last for shit. I stopped fighting and just let it happen.
An hour later, we were both exhausted, had just showered, and were ready to call it for the night. With my eyes on Sophie, I watched as she made her way toward me, stopping inches before she made contact with my body and looking up at me.
“I forgive you for making me wait,” Sophie said with a grin before she ran her hand down my chest and left the bathroom.
I inhaled and released it slowly, feeling like shit.
The only reason I’d made her wait earlier was because of my situation with Willis. Los thought I’d slept with her, and it got close, but I didn’t. I let her suck my dick though, just to give me extra insurance.
At the end of the day, she was still a fed, and there was always the possibility she could choose her career. She didn’t really have shit on me or Los, but she had enough to throw around accusations about what we threatened her with and that would complicate things. She wanted to fuck me, so I made her a promise that if she did what I asked, I would.
Her giving me head was just insurance. If her feelings were involved, she’d put her needs ahead of this bullshit ass case the feds were trying to connect us to. It was just a means to an end, but necessary.
Even though what I did would hurt Sophie if she ever found out, I didn’t really have a choice. Me getting locked the fuck up would be far worse than her being in her feelings about me getting head from a bitch I planned to kill soon.
When I entered the bedroom again, Sophie was already balled up on my side, waiting for me. After walking over to the dresser, I dropped my towel and reached into the drawer, put my hands on a pair of boxers, and stepped into them before I joined her.
Like always, she snuggled up close, wrapping her body around mine. Sophie liked to be right up under me when she slept, which had taken some getting used to. But now, if shewasn’t right there, I couldn't rest easy. Sending her to Jamaica would be just as hard for me.
“You know I’m gonna miss you, right?”
“You better because if you don’t, that means someone else is occupying your time.”
I smiled and kissed her neck. “I could be with someone else and still miss you, Sophie. So don’t think that me being alone is the only way I’ll miss you.”
“You really think that’s the right thing to say right now when you’re telling me I have to leave for a week?” Sophie lifted her head and frowned at me, which made me laugh a little.
“I’m not going to be with anybody because I don’t have to. I’m just saying, even if somebody was here with me while you were gone, I could still miss you. Shit, I could be fucking somebody else, all up in their guts, and still miss you ’cause nobody can make me feel like you do. You got that gold mine, baby girl.”
“Well, you just remember that gold mine while I’m gone so you don’t go out there dipping in fool’s gold when I get back because you messed up.”
“You know you don’t have to worry about that. I’m not messing this up.” I pulled her closer to me and she tilted her head back for me to deliver another kiss.
“Promise me.” Sophie got serious all of a sudden and her eyes stayed locked on mine.
“I promise you, Sophie. That doesn’t mean I’ll always do shit right, but I will never intentionally hurt you.”
“Intentionally?”
“Yeah, intentionally. I know that doesn’t sound like a guarantee, but I don’t want to lie to you and say I’m going to always do things the way you want. I promise you I’ll always make decisions that will put you first.”
She just looked at me for a minute, and I could tell that she felt the warning in my confession, but I didn’t believe in making promises I couldn't keep, not even to keep her happy. The truth was ugly sometimes, but a lie could potentially do more damage.
“Okay,” was all she said, but there was more to it.
“You can trust me, Sophie. Don’t ever feel like you can’t, aight?”
