Damn it. I look across the parking lot, clenching my jaw.
I kiss her forehead, eyes boring into hers. “Wait one minute, okay? I’ll be right back. The last thing I’ll do right now is leave you alone.”
She nods, clutching at me like she doesn’t want me to go. It kills me to leave her like this for even a second to talk to the coaches.
“I’m coming right back. Just wait here for me.”
My teammates cheer as I jog over to the bus, pausing from loading all our gear to chantcaptain, captain. For the first time ever, I ignore them, not stopping until I nearly crash into Coach Lombard’s back.
“Sir.”
He’s not paying attention, going over a checklist with our equipment manager. “Let’s go. Get on the bus. We’re starting practice early tomorrow. We’ve got work to put in before the first playoff game.”
“I can’t.” Finally, he turns his attention to me. I gesture to Maya. “I know it’s against the rules and the team is supposed to ride the bus, but I’m asking for one exception. It’s a family emergency.”
“Family?” He lifts a brow.
“Yes. She’s about to lose someone extremely important because he’s dying, and I need her to be able to say goodbye.”
The insistent words scrape my throat, overlapped by my own grief rising to the surface. I blow out a breath, trying to hold myself together while I relive how much it hurt to know I couldn’t tell Dad I loved him one more time. To know I couldn’t talk to him about my problems or ask his advice about hockey or life. To know I’d never hear his voice outside of old home videos and saved voicemails where he’s giving me shit for blocking his car because I parked my bike in the driveway again.
I don’t want her to find out what that’s like if she has the chance to see her grandfather before he passes and find some of the closure I wasn’t able to experience.
“I don’t want her driving alone while she’s upset. The roads are a mess from the storm.”
Coach hums gruffly in acknowledgement. He hands the checklist to the equipment manager and grasps my shoulder to lead me away from the bus.
“Playoffs don’t wait for anyone, son,” he reminds me. “Topping the draft prospect ranks for the season doesn’t mean you’ve made it yet. Your current team can’t go without their captain. We’re on the road to the championships now.”
“I know,” I answer tightly.
“You’ll need to be back for practice.”
My conflicted gaze finds my girl. I’m torn between my love for her and how that fits into the goal I’ve worked towards. I’ll never choose anything over her. She’s part of my future now.
I rub at the burn in my chest. I know this is what Dad would expect of me. To take care of the people important to me, the way he always did before we lost him.
Ah, shit. I blink away the sting in my eyes, swallowing thickly.
Death and loss fucking suck. There’s no denying that truth. But as long as we hold on to the people we love, everything will be okay.
And I’ll never let go of Maya Donnelly, especially not when my girl needs me.
Even if it costs me my dream of being drafted. I’ll still fight my way to the NHL one way or another.
“Coach, with all due respect, I’m not really asking permission here. She comes first. No question.” I raise my chin. “I’ll do everything in my power to make this work. You can count on me. I won’t abandon my team, but I have to go right now.”
Coach surveys me in silence, then nods. “You make me proud, Blake.” He squeezes my shoulder, leaning closer. “I’ve never been more honored to coach a player like you. Cannon and I look forward to seeing the long career I know you’re going to have in this game.”
My throat closes. I clear it and scrub my eyes before sprinting back to Maya’s side.
She’s trembling, struggling to hold back her emotions. I pull her into my embrace, wanting to carry all her pain for her.
“Come on. I’ve got you. I’ve always got you.”
She loses the battle once she’s in my arms, hiccuping as she presses her face against my chest. Jarring shudders rack her frame and she clutches at me with a desperate white-knuckled grip. She tries to speak, but can’t get anything out past her heaving breaths.
Seeing her like this destroys me. I gather my strength in order to keep it together because she needs me to lean on more than ever. We’ll get through this together.
