Maya is all that matters.
She stays quiet once I get her in the car and pull away from campus. I stop at the drive-thru and start an order. She pipes up to ask for a milkshake, digging in her purse. I hold out a hand to stop her. Everything I ordered is for her except for the large ice water I got for myself.
The lake isn’t far from the drive-thru. I find a good spot with a view and park. She’s halfway through her nuggets already.
“Thanks,” she finally mumbles.
“No problem. Better?”
“This is helping.” She picks at her fries. “Today sucks. But now it sucks slightly less.”
“Want to tell me why today sucks?”
Sighing, she wipes her fingers and bites her lip. “I found out today that one of the last required classes for a typical senior seminar won’t be available next semester unless they find aprofessor that’s willing to run it. The one I’d planned on taking it from just took early retirement. I need that class in order to graduate in three years.”
“Is it available as a summer class?”
She undoes her hair clip to play with it and thumps her head against the seat. “I think that’ll still depend on whether or not they find a replacement.”
I frown in sympathy. It’s annoying enough to pick my classes so they don’t interfere with my athletic schedule.
“Any other classes you can substitute for it?”
“I don’t know yet. I have to talk to my advisor to see.”
“It’ll work out.”
“I hope.” She sips on her milkshake. “Thank you for getting me food and letting me vent. I’m sorry for dumping on you.”
I squeeze her leg. “Please don’t apologize. I’m here to listen to anything you want to talk about. Lean on me.”
She hesitates, eyes darting away before she continues.
“The thing with the seminar is annoying, but what really upset me today is this.” She shows me a text from her brother. “It’s my grandfather. He’s back in the hospital again after he’s been doing so much better lately. And?—”
A tear falls and her voice grows tight, cutting off with a strained gasp. I cup her face, swiping at her tears, hushing her.
“It’s okay.”
Her throat convulses as she swallows. My heart fucking breaks at her quivering lip while she fights back her emotions.
“I’ve been working so hard to graduate early for him. I want him to see me finish my degree, but his illness is only progressing.” She squeezes her eyes shut, more tears leaking out at the corners. “He’s such a big part of my life. He’s the one I’ve always gone to with my problems. I’m…I’m so afraid he won’t make it. I’m terrified of losing him.”
“Shit. I’m sorry, Maya.” I unbuckle my belt, then hers, and gather her into a hug.
Instead of pulling away after a moment, she tucks her face against my neck, melting against me. The position is a little awkward, but it doesn’t matter if it’s helping her feel safe. I’ll hold her like this all day if she needs me to. I stroke her hair until she stops shaking.
I wish I could protect her from her grief. When she calms down, but still remains in my arms, I start talking about stuff I’ve only told Cameron and Noah.
“I know how hard and scary it is. He’s gotta be so proud of you, baby. I know it.” She releases a shuddering breath, nodding. “I wish I could tell you that it’ll hurt less, but I can’t promise there won’t be days it’ll just hit you. It’s okay to be sad, though.”
“Who’d you lose? One of your grandparents?”
“My dad.” She goes still and I skim my lips over her head, speaking against her hair. “It was a car accident five years ago. I was fifteen. It blindsided me. We were really close. Hockey was our thing, so I feel like I have a piece of him with me every time I put on my skates even though it sucks that he’s gone.”
“That’s how I feel when I’m working at the farm,” she rasps. “Grandpa taught me how to ride horses. It’s how I first fell in love with animals and knew I wanted to have my degree involve them.”
I nod in understanding. “Our passion turned into the thing I want to do with my life. I started pursuing my hockey career with him helping me work towards it. If I knew I would lose him, I would’ve done everything to cherish the moments we had together even more.”
