“There’s nothing wrong with that. You have to do what makes you happy. Otherwise you’d start to resent the things you used to love.”
“Exactly.” My grip on him tightens. “I’m glad you get it. Sometimes it’s hard to explain to people what it’s like when something switches from fun to not in my brain. They think I’m a quitter. When I’m interested, it’s all my ADHD wants to focus on—I live it and breathe it. Then as soon as I’m not, everything just feels like…forcing myself through sludge.”
He chuckles. “I don’t think you’re a quitter. You’ve found other things to make you happy, right?”
“Yes. I’m happy now.”
“That’s good.”
“What about you, are you happy?”
He glances at me with an indecipherable look before answering. “Yeah, I think I am.”
“You like coaching for Heston U?”
“Love it.” This time he responds without hesitation. “I feel like the guys didn’t know what to make of me at first, but now we have a solid connection.”
He sounds the way I do when someone asks me about my designs. I squeeze his hand with both of mine.
A comfortable silence falls between us. It’s nice just existing with him.
“Sounds like people are starting to arrive for open rink time,” I say.
“I’ll give you a ride,” he offers.
I agree, following him to the exit. We wave goodbye to Vic and he helps me untie my skates without me asking.
He swings his keyring around his fingers on our way to his car, jogging ahead to open the passenger door for me. I tease himwith a formal curtsey and he smirks, tugging on the pink and white polka dot scarf tied in my hair.
I love that he doesn’t complain when I fiddle with the radio to pick out music. Unlike my ex, he shoots me a smile that stirs butterflies in my stomach.
We’re only on the road for a minute before drowsiness blankets me. I can’t help relaxing around him, able to slow down because of the comforting effect his presence has on me. I blink slowly while Cole sings under his breath.
Warm and content, I give up the fight against my heavy eyelids and doze off.
EIGHTEEN
COLE
The offer todrive Eve home wasn’t supposed to take hours. She fell asleep shortly after we pulled out of the parking lot and rather than finish the quick ride to her place, I’m still driving around. I’m not ready for tonight to end.
I keep circling town slowly, avoiding every speed bump and pothole out of fear of waking her. Music on the radio plays low. I turned it down after she drifted off.
My elbow is propped on the armrest of the center console. I hold it still, enjoying the slight pressure where we’re touching.
A few texts from Benny light up my phone in the cup holder. I flip it around so it doesn’t bother Eve. I’ll talk to him later. Right now I’m with her and I don’t want anything else to interrupt.
All I’m left with are my thoughts and the acute awareness of her—her shallow, steady breathing, the sweet scent of strawberries and vanilla, the point of contact between us where she’s leaning toward me, arm pressed against the side of mine.
I round the bend to head in the direction of the lake for the third time since we left the rink. Being careful not to disturb her, I shift to trace my knuckles against her leg.
Watching her entertaining the kids with her old figure skating skills earlier made it so damn hard not to draw her intomy arms to kiss her gorgeous smile. The need hasn’t gone away, burning in my chest, tingeing every breath.
I sigh, clenching the fist draped over the wheel. It doesn’t do anything to stop this inescapable feeling.
There isn’t much time left in the regular season, or winter. Both of the things I want are supposed to be temporary. I don’t want to walk away—not from her or this job.
“It’s late.”
