I laughed as he helped me in. A few minutes later, we were on our way.
“I’m starting to understand that about you.”
He looked over for a second and asked, “Understand what?”
“You mentioned you compartmentalize things in a way and have to see them through. That’s what I understood when you said you’d have to see me home or you’d be worried.”
Nodding, he said, “I suppose any man would,shouldfeel that way if they had to send their date home in a car service. But yes, I have to see things through. Does it bother you?”
His voice sounded so vulnerable, I wanted to hug him. “No, it doesn’t bother me at all. It shows you care.”
“Good. Because I do.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Leyla
After finally convincingNiko I wasn’t upset because our evening had been interrupted, he left to check on Mike, promising to text with an update, even if it was late.
Once inside and ready for bed, I climbed in and relaxed. It had been an eventful evening, to be sure. Conflicting emotions left me a bit turned around, but mostly I felt a peace I hadn’t felt in a very long time.
Whatever happened between Niko and me, there was no question we had crossed over into something new.
I had learned a lot about being neurodivergent since his revelation, and the more I understood, the more in awe I was of how far he had come. I saw the banter and connection he had with Mike, and to know he felt that with me as well made my heart ache in a good way.
Between his words and flirty actions, he had me swooning, but if Niko wanted Pam, I had to ignore my growing attraction and feelings for him to help him win her over. I pushed aside my jealousy to be the friend he needed. And I mean, pushed it far,far down, because Pam had to be someone really special if he cared for her, no matter how sad it made me.
She was apparently the first woman he felt this way about in a long time, if I understood him correctly, so he must think she was worth it.
That thought led me to slide my Bible from my nightstand and into my lap as I leaned back in bed.
After my encounter with Ethan and Niko’s encouragement, I felt ready to hear what God had to say about me. Looking up Ephesians 2:10, I asked Him to speak to my heart and to heal what I had been holding back out of anger and disappointment.
My version said, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”
I let those words sink deep into my hurting heart. The other version that said we are His masterpiece brought tears to my eyes.
“Father, first, forgive me for withholding my love and attention from You,” I said, holding the open Bible to my chest. “Forgive me for being angry years ago and for holding a grudge for so long. I see now that it allowed a root of bitterness to grow deep within me, one that sprang to life again when I allowed Ethan to make me question my worth.”
The tears flowed as I spoke, and I could already feel His presence so strongly it took my breath away.
“Jesus, I understand now that I am not a mistake,” I sobbed. “You intentionally formed me and gave me a purpose. My personality, my gifts, and the things that make me who I am come from You. Help me not to forget I am Your masterpiece. And help me see others, like Niko, the way You see them, without judgment or prejudice. Remind me, as often as You need to, that we are all made in Your image.”
As I spoke to Him about feeling like I’m inadequate and yet too much at times, I felt God leading me to reread the story of the prodigal son. As I did, I remembered a sermon from years ago in which the pastor emphasized that the Father was watching and waiting for His son’s return.
That truth renewed me as more tears fell. I thanked Him with a grateful heart for watching and waiting for me and for sending people like my parents, Vicky and Miles, and even Niko, to remind me of how much He loved me.
In that precious moment, I felt His Spirit speaking to me, “You’re Mine.” I let those words permeate my heart and wash away the lies I had believed about myself for a long time. I belonged to the One who created me, and He loved me, just as I was, with all my flaws. I highlighted and dated those passages, knowing one day I’d probably need them again, as Niko had said that evening.
With him in mind, I prayed, “Thank You for bringing Niko back into my life, Father. Thank You for giving me the opportunity to ask his forgiveness and for restoring our friendship. It’s evident You brought him to me for a reason.”
As I sat in my thoughts for a while longer, I added sheepishly, “And, Father. I know you probably love Pam, too, but could You get her to fall in love with someone else? Maybe?” I laughed and wiped my tears. I would keep my commitment to Niko to help if God’s will was for him to be with Pam, but I couldn’t help getting my request in there.
You know, just in case.
Checking the time to make sure it wasn’t too late, I sent a text to Sofia and Vicky.
Me:Just wanted to say how grateful I am for you both. For loving me so well and not giving up on me.
