I hated Pam.
Scolding myself for the thought, I turned my attention back to Niko.
“Pam. Okay, well, that’s a nice name,” I said, even though it tasted like battery acid in my mouth.
“Yes. It’s a nice name,” he said emotionlessly.
“Great. Well, if you were out to dinner like this withPam, you would ask what her interests are, and of course, you’d ask about her work.”
He went back to playing with his silverware and said, “She’s a scientist. Like me. Well, like us, I guess.”
My face screwed up like I’d smelled something disgusting. Pam. The scientist. The beautiful Turkish scientist.
“Is she Turkish?” I spit out before I could stop myself.
He chuckled and shook his head. “No, she’s not Turkish. But she seems to like the language a lot.”
My visual mind conjured up a picture of beautiful Pam the scientist, swooning across from Niko as he called her hyatim.
Oh, yeah. Pam was going down.
Clearing my throat, I said, “Well, so far, we know her name is Pam, and she’s a scientist. Help me out here, Niko. Do you know anything else about her?”
He looked at me, his eyes scanning over my face, stopping at my necklace.
“You mentioned at the beach you’d had your necklace for a long time and it was special. Can I ask why?”
The sudden subject change gave me whiplash. Touching my pendant, I answered, “Because my dad gave it to me back in high school. I guess it’s special because of that, but it also reminds me how big the world is and how small I am.”
Rubbing the raised wave, I said, “When I mentioned that to him, he reminded me that although I felt small, I was very important to God, the One who created the waves. And no matter how big the waves got, God was with me.”
“I like that. It reminds me of how I feel every time I swim out on my board. The ocean looks wild, even dangerous. So big, so intimidating. In comparison, I feel like such a tiny part of this great, big world. I like the way your dad explained it.”
I let the necklace go, the pendant warm now on my collarbone from my hand. “It’s been a while since I thought of God that way, like I mentioned to you the other day. But I’m getting back where I need to be. I feel His presence again.”
Niko nodded. “I’m so glad. My mom always reminds me when I feel like God is far away, it’s me who created the distance. Never Him.”
My heart warmed as I replayed his words. But it didn’t escape my notice that when he mentioned Pam, he was nervous and quiet. But when he talked to me, his heart was open again. That had to mean something.
“If we’re talking about important things from our past, I have a question. I thought about it again for the first time recently, and it’s been bothering me.”
The server apologized for the interruption and placed our plates in front of us. The smell of steak made my taste buds water.
“Enjoy your meal.”
We thanked him, but Niko didn’t start eating. Instead, he continued watching me.
“Something wrong with your food?” I asked, looking at his pasta.
“No, nothing at all. But you were talking, and that’s more important to me.”
He said these words without a hint of hesitation. It was a bit unnerving to have Niko’s full attention, and whenever it happened, I couldn’t help but feel like I was the most important person in the world.
“I’m not going to forget what I wanted to ask you. Let’s at least take a few bites. Not going to lie. I’m starving.” We both laughed and started eating.
Once again, the comfortable silence wrapped around us. No hurry. No agenda. No subterfuge. Just…peace. Even though I knew this wasn’t a real date, compared with my other awkward first dates, this was refreshing.
“Now that you’ve had about fourperfectbites,” he teased, pointing to my forkful of steak, mashed potatoes, and a small piece of broccoli, “talk to me.”
