“Ba-by.” He elongated the word, his tone whiny. Now I really wanted to hit this guy.
“There’s no need to be uncomfortable,” he continued. “Leyla and I are old friends. No harm in saying hello.”
He had yet to acknowledge my presence, and something about his attitude reminded me of how I used to let people make me feel: invisible. Small. Unworthy.
As I watched Leyla’s shoulders start to hunch, as if she were closing in on herself, I decided tonight wasn’t the night for passivity.
Reaching across the small linen-topped table, I took her hand in mine. The connection caused her to shift her focus from him to my hand, her eyebrows pulling tightly.
With her soft hand firmly in mine, I leaned over, pulled it to me, and lifted it slowly to my lips. When I kissed her knuckles, she sighed audibly, and Ethan straightened in my periphery.
Ignoring him, I locked eyes with hers, turned her hand slowly, and kissed the inside of her wrist. Her sweet vanilla perfume was strong there, and I could taste it as I kissed her again, wondering if her lips would taste like vanilla too.
“I don’t know who this person is, hyatim, but I’d like to get back to adoring you. Alone. Will he leave if we ignore him?” My voice was clear and strong, my eyes set firmly on hers.
Leyla sucked in a breath, her hand trembling as my lips hovered over her pulse point, poised to continue feeling its erratic drumming under my lips. Ethan’s date must have had enough and growled out his name, pulling him away.
“Th-they’re gone,” Leyla whispered, her eyes moving down to my mouth.
Because I had no self-control around her, I lightly kissed her once more. Our fingers stilled as if neither of us wanted this to end. A few moments later, Leyla slowly slid her hand away. She put her hands over her adorably pink cheeks, unable to hide her reaction.
It didn’t matter whether it was because of him or me.Iwas the one sitting with her at this table. There was no way to know whether she would ever be mine, but in this moment, she was, and it was enough. At least for now.
“Wow, you, um. That was…,” she whispered, fanning her face with the menu.
I smiled, enjoying how she reacted to me. “It worked. He finally got the hint and left.”
She took a sip of her water, set it down, and said, “Yes, that it did.” Reaching for her glass again, she drained it, and I had to bite back a smile.
“What did you call me?” she asked, her voice starting to rise above a whisper.
At first, I wasn’t sure what she meant, but then I remembered the Turkish phrase I’d always wanted to use for the woman who would be my wife one day.
“Oh, I called you hyatim. My life.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me. Are you serious right now?” Her voice was squeaky and high-pitched.
“Did you not like my term of endearment? That’s what it was, in case you’re not sure. Boys call their girlfriends ‘baby’.Mencall them ‘my life’.”
Her breaths were shallow as she looked at me. Everything in me screamed to pull her into my arms, press my lips to the pulse point on her neck, where I was sure her perfume would be strongest, and feel what my words were doing to her. The caveman inside me had returned, and he was as unfamiliar to me as he was to her.
Watching her full lips part as she tried to slow her breath, I was about to lose control. I never, ever lost control. Leyla licked her lips. Her throat bobbed with a swallow, but no words came out.
Kiss her, kiss her!
Instinctively, I leaned ever so slightly toward her. I wasn’t positive, but it looked like she had as well. My thoughts waged war within me. Part of me wanted to run, knowing I was going to mess this up once she saw how awful I was at relationships. But part of me wanted to conjure up my inner Hitch and lean to that darn 90% to see if she’d breach the distance.
The rising tension snapped when our server appeared and introduced himself. Leyla sat back, her eyes blinking several times. My nerves were all over the place as I leaned back and tried to pay attention to our server.
As he went over the night’s specials, I calmed the beast within, reminding myself that this was a pretend date.
Leyla looked at me again, and I wondered if we could just get up and leave so I could kiss her in private. When neither of us made a move to order, our server politely said he’d give us some more time.
I knew what she was thinking. The things I allowed to flow from my heart were the things she thought she was here to teach me. I had news for her. The words I’d spoken, the sincere compliments I’d given, had never come from me before.
The few girlfriends I’d had, though short-lived, never made me feel what I felt in Leyla’s presence. Words just flowed naturally from a place of complete surrender to the woman who made me feel whole. There was no other explanation for it.
All that connected us were four short months working togetheryearsago, followed by angry words and the empty space left when she walked out of my life. In the month or so I’d been at Earth Organix, more than half of it was spent dodging her animosity.
