“That means a lot coming from you, my former rival,” she said with a smirk. “I appreciate that, but I wasn’t holding down a job like you were. For me, my plan worked. Being at Earth Organix, it’s the best of both worlds. I was very interested in business anyway, but it was also to placate my parents, who wanted me to have something to fall back on if science didn’t work out.”
“Really? But they’re in the medical field. Why would they question your ability to make a career in science?”
She paused. “Let’s just say it was complicated. We have a great relationship, but they were hoping I’d join them at the dental practice. Cosmetics were a fallback plan in their eyes. And believe me, I’m very proud of what they’ve built together, but teeth are not my thing.” She shivered, making me laugh.
“Yes, can you imaginemein that field? I don’t exactly have what you’d call a bedside manner,” I answered, wiping my hand on the napkin.
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Be so…self-deprecating. Does it come from your childhood experiences?”
Taken aback by her misinterpretation, I answered quickly. “No, that’s not what I was doing.” I rolled the napkin between my fingers, a nervous habit, searching for the right words.
“Take your time,” she said kindly.
Nodding, I answered, “I have to prepare topics to talk about in social situations. It helps, but I don’t pick up on things like whether someone is bored with what I’m talking about or trying to move on from a subject. Over the years, I’ve realized that it causes uncomfortable silences and awkward interactions.”
She frowned and tilted her head to the side. “So, you think making fun of yourself helps that?”
Sighing, I answered, “Not exactly. But I observed that people who are comfortable with themselves are more likely to be, as you say, self-deprecating. It makes me more approachable, if that makes sense.”
“But doesn’t that take a toll on how you feel about yourself?”
“Not really. Because I know who I am now.”
She shifted in her seat before taking another sip. “You mentioned that before when talking about your name change. Do you mind if I ask what you mean by that?”
Shocked that she was interested in this, I sent up a silent prayer for God to help me find the right words. The only conversation we ever had about Him was back in school, and at least then, she was a believer.
Clearing my throat, I said, “I have tried to be what I thought everyone else wanted me to be, outside my family. But after I graduated from college, I realized that my parents had been telling me the truth all along. When I was diagnosed in high school, they sat me down and showed me a very special verse.”
She leaned forward and said, “I’d love to hear which one it was.”
My heart sped up at the sight of her wide eyes and hungry tone.
“They read to me from Ephesians 2:10 in a version I could remember as a young teen. It said God considers all His children His masterpiece, and He gave them purpose, and has already prepared meaningful ways for me to live out that purpose step by step, by His grace.”
Leyla leaned back but said nothing. Because I always appreciated people giving me space to process and not pushing me for an answer, I did the same. To keep from staring, I went back to my meal, waiting for her response.
Finally, after several long minutes, she spoke. Her voice was low, so I leaned my head closer so I didn’t miss anything over the upbeat music playing in the restaurant.
“I’ve never read that verse before. That’s really beautiful. So much to take in.” When our eyes met, there was a sheen in hers, and once again, I had to beat down the caveman in me not to wrap her in my arms.
“Yes, it is. It took me a long time to take that verse apart and understand its meaning. I believe the Bible is not just to be read but to be understood and applied. When I did that, my diagnosis was easier to accept.
“After years of being made fun of, I came to understand that God hadn’t made a mistake when He created me. Of course, as I grew up, my experiences shaped the man I became, but at the heart of it, I am who God made me to be. It was then easier to appreciate my quiet nature, my never-ending curiosity, and my organized thinking.”
She nodded and sniffled, bringing her napkin to her nose. “Thank you so much for sharing that with me today, Niko. You have no idea how much it means to me.”
“Do you mind if I ask why? I know you mentioned believing in God back in college. Does that verse clarify or confirm anything for you?”
She looked at me, bit her bottom lip, then released it. “Clarify. If this were a science experiment, I’d say my hypothesis has returned with a surprising solution.” We both chuckled. “I haven’t been as close to my faith these days as I had back then.”
“So, the concept of God’s intentionality inyourdesign isn’t something you believe?” I knew I was digging, but my desire to bring her this truth was so strong I couldn’t stop myself.
“Not really. I’m not sure I ever really did. But I’d like to.” She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.
