Her tone had quickly gone from friendly to antagonistic, revealing how upset she still was after all this time.
“I wasprotectingyou from being labeled a plagiarist, Leyla. I worked for hours trying to piece together what I could take to Professor Logan to clear your name while I waited for you to answer my emails. When he gave me a tiny window to come talk to him, I basically crawled there.”
My voice was rising in frustration, but I didn't want emotions to take over. I had to get her to understand me.
“You went to Logan’s office to make sure you weren’t pulled into this,” she spat out.
“That’s not true. You don’t understand.”
“Understand what, Niko?” she yelled. I hated confrontation, and my insides felt like a tornado was tearing through them.
My ears started ringing, and I could feel my anxiety well up inside. When I didn’t answer, she threw up her hands.
“See, you have no answer. Own up to who you were really there for when you went to his office.”
My resolve broke as my voice rose. “You. I was thinking of you. I wanted to protect you because I cared about you!” I shouted.
My outburst stunned her into silence.
I lowered my voice. “Before I went to his office, I emailed you over and over and waitedhourswith no answers.”
Leyla stood, pushing the chair behind her, storm clouds brewing once again. “You should’ve waited for me to go see him. And I never checked my school email. Well, except when I needed to get in touch with you or a professor.” She flinched at her admission.
“Exactly.That’show we communicated.”
“I know, but it makes no sense. Who in college doesn’t call or text, Niko?” she shouted.
Standing up, I said, “First of all, Inevercalled or texted you. And Ididcall you after I met with Professor Logan. I went alone to get ahead of this thing. My intentions were good, I promise you. I also texted and emailed over and over, but you didn’t answer.”
Rubbing her temple, she said, “My phone was dead. By the time I finished my classes and went to charge it, I saw your messages and the TA's asking about the documentation, but Logan had already emailed me, summoning me to his office afteryourmeeting with him. I ignored everything else. I just would’ve appreciated a chance to go together, but you took it upon yourself to go on your own. You’vegotto see what that looks like, Niko. I was humiliated! Forweeks, I thought people had found out and were whispering behind my back. It was awful.” Tears sprang to her eyes, and she tried to wipe them discreetly when she turned her head.
“I’m sorry about that. And I know what I’m saying about the emails doesn’t make sense to you. But it’s the way I compartmentalize things. I want to explain to you why…”
Waving her hands dismissively and cutting me off, she said, “Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound?”
In a heartbeat, every cruel word from high school came roaring back.
“You’re not normal. What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you just be like everyone else?”
My hands started shaking, so I began my box breathing. In for four. Hold. Out for four. After I did a few rounds of that, Leyla was still boring a hole in my face with her glare, waiting for me to answer.
I wanted to run away from this awful confrontation, but not until I said what I wanted her to know.
Taking a deep breath, I said, “There are things you don’t understand. But Ididtry to defend you. I don’t know what Professor Logan told you, but I was willing to take the fall along with you, Leyla. And I’m sorry I didn’t call you right away. I started researching and just lost track of time. You of all peopleknowthis about me.” My voice shook but held. Leyla looked shocked by my words as she stared at me.
Sofia walked out, looking from me to Leyla, wringing her hands. “Hey, I know I asked you to talk this through, but your yelling is going to wake up my son, Dean,” she said sheepishly.
I had made a fool of myself in front of Leyla and her friends. “I’m so sorry. That was my fault,” I said. “I’m going to leave. Sofia, thank you for the invitation. Leyla, I’m sorry. Good night.”
I walked past Sofia, not daring a glance at Leyla, passing Luke as I headed for the front door. “Sorry for all of this. Have a good night.”
Finally out of the house, I leaned my hands on my bent knees, trying to catch my breath and calm down enough to drive home.
Even though I’d tried to explain, I knew Leyla didn’t believe me. Telling her about the part of me I didn’t share with many people wasn’t an option in the moment. My emotions were too jagged, and that would have to be a conversation for another day, if she ever spoke to me again.
On the way home, I prayed for God to remind me that I was His, that I was loved and accepted, just the way I was. I also prayed that He’d give me an opportunity to open up to her soon.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
