“Goodnight, my sweet girl. I’m so so glad to be here, too. Daddy and I will talk and make some plans. I want to see as much of you as I can.”
Looking up at her in adoration, MJ asked, “Really?”
“Of course.” Katy took her by the hand toward her room, looking back at me. I nodded that I’d be waiting.
I’d lost track of how long she’d been gone, so when she sat down next to me on the sofa, I startled.
“Jumpy tonight,” she said. She went to rub my neck, something she used to do when I was stressed about work, but thought better of it and dropped her hand.
I pushed away from her, giving us some space as she frowned.
“Scared to be around me?” she teased. “I won’t bite.” She knew the significance of those words as they’d been what she said to me within an hour of meeting her. Katy was wild, outgoing. Her confidence and overt flirting had dazzled me, a complete nerd.
“No, not scared. But worried. Why are you here?”
Twisting the pillow in her hand, she said, “I’m here for MJ. And for you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Miles, I miss her. So much.” She pushed her hair behind her ears and turned to face me, her legs crossing under her.
“I spent Christmas away from home and my family, staying in a hotel in Austin. Had a gig there with my new band for a big event. It went really well, but I saw families enjoying the show, moms with their kids, drinking hot cocoa, laughing, and talking. It made me realize how much of her life I’ve missed.” Her head tilted to the ceiling for a moment before she looked back at me, staring intently.
“And I missed you. Missedus, Miles.” At my shocked expression, she said with a chuckle, “Don’t look so scandalized. Can you really say you’ve never thought about it? Thought about us? Trying again.”
“I don’t know what you want to hear. Have I ever thought about us? Yeah,” I said with a humorless laugh. “For several years after you left. I’d have done anything to get our family back together.”
A smile grew on her face. “Then why don’t we try now? I’m different.You’redifferent. We’ve both grown up and know what we want.”
Anger rose in my chest at her words. “No, hold on. I’mnotdifferent. I’ve always been me, always been exactly who you married. Nothing about me has changed except for learning how to work through disappointment. How to walk through challenges. To be a better father to MJ. I’ve always known what I wanted. Back then, I wanted us to be a family.”
She bent over, reaching for my hand. “We can be so great together. I’ve lived, traveled. My career is taking off now. There’s an indie record label interested in signing me on.” Her excitement was evident as her voice rose with the words.
Slowly pulling my hand away from her, I shook my head.
“This isn’t about your career or mine or how different you think I am than before. You chose to leave. You walked away from not only me butMJ. Your daughter.” I stood now, glad to finally be able to say to her what I’d wanted to say for years. She always shut down those conversations, saying they were too hard.
“I have apologized for that over and over again. It’s so not fair for youto keep throwing back in my face my mistakes as a twenty-three-year-old woman,” she spat back, spinning to face me without getting up.
“I’m not, I promise I’m not. We both made mistakes,” I answered, lowering my voice to de-escalate the conversation and not wake up MJ. “I forgave you years ago. But you told me when you handed me those divorce papers that you didn’t love me, Katy. That you didn’t think you ever really did. Do you know what thatdidto me?” My voice cracked on the last sentence, and I took a deep shuddering breath.
“I was a fool back then. I see now what I missed out on with you,” she said, her tone begging as she stood next to me.
“What do you mean you see now what you missed out on with me?” I asked, looking down at her. She was a powerhouse of energy, but it was wrapped up in a tiny package. At six-two, I towered over her. She used to joke that she needed a stepstool to kiss me, being five-four in height.
She dropped her gaze, tugging on her bright yellow shirt.
“It’s Vicky, right? Seeing me with her really shook you,” I said incredulously. “Youdon’twant me. You’ve just never seen me with another woman.”
She turned to me, those eyes feral and blazing. “Yes,” she hissed. “I’m jealous. Is that what you want to hear?”
“No, no it’s not because what I do with my love life, who I decide to spend my time with is none of your business, Katy Ann.” The mention of her middle name made her back down slightly, knowing I was really upset.
“Okay, yes, you’re right. I lost that right a long time ago,” she said, her voice calming. I threw my hands up as if saying, “ya think?”
She chewed on her bottom lip, then turned back to me. “I didn’t like seeing her in your clothes. Didn’t like it at all. It brought up memories, you know?”
I knew the ones she was talking about all too well. She practically lived in my shirts as a newlywed.
