Her sincere words further confirmed what God was doing in me from the inside out. Ren’s warning not to talk about her best friend the way I did echoed in my mind. Seeing MJ’s vulnerable eyes, I realized in that moment that if she were my daughter, I’d never allow her to speak about herself the way I’ve spoken about myself my whole life. And I’d never want to say those self-deprecating words about myself in front of her, daughter or not.
“Thank you, MJ. You’ll never know what that means to me.” I held her again, feeling her exhale and melt into my embrace. “Okay, now,” I said, pulling away from her. “What do you say we hit the beach, huh?”
With another swipe of her eyes, she nodded quickly. “Let’s get this show on the road.”
I laughed at her old-fashioned sayings and kissed her on the cheek.
“Be right back then.”
“Daddy, we should’ve brought our kites,” MJ said, pushing the loosened strands of her braids from her face.
“Next time, kiddo,” he said. Turning to me, he asked, “Ready to get in the water?”
Pulling instinctively at the hem of my coverup, I looked from him to the water. It was still early afternoon, and the sun was warm on my skin. We’d been at Coronado Beach for about an hour, and it was as beautiful as Sofia had said. Her photos were mostly taken in the La Jolla area, which boasted tall cliffs with gorgeous glass-front houses dotted along them, reminding me of the Amalfi Coast. I’d made plans to walk around there soon.
But Coronado Beach was a long stretch of white sand that seemed to have tiny bits of golden pieces in it that glittered in the bright sunlight. Large boulders stood like sentries along the sidewalk, and a famous hotel, The Del, as the locals called it, was a prominent feature in the background.
Lunch had been simple sandwiches, along with some fruit and snack bars. I’d enjoyed a cold bottle of kombucha as the three of us chatted about what was left to do in MJ’s room.
“I don’t know,” I said slowly, answering his question. “Sofia warned me that the water was as cold as the Arctic.”
Miles’ laugh burst out of him at the sight of my wrinkled nose. MJ giggled next to him, digging into the sand with her beach toys. “Won’t know til you try,” he teased.
The night before, after leaving my other client’s house in town, I went to the nearby outdoor mall. It reminded me of a few malls we had in Rome. All the stores featured very fashionable clothes that usually intimidated me, especially swimsuits.
I called an emergency fashion session with Corinna, and she walked me through finding the right suit for my body type.
“Vicky, you don’t seem to realize that your hourglass figure is the envy of most women I know. IwishI had your curves.”
Pushing down the harsh words I’d told myself over the years about my fear of wearing something so revealing, I tried on suit after suit while my sister-in-law patiently waited. I should have taken her advice and just bought a bunch of them to try on at home, but I had no idea what to even buy.
I turned off the camera part as I kept switching suits. None of them felt right. Either my big bust was spilling out, squished into some kind of uni-boob, or my cellulite was visible for everyone to see. When I tried on the last one, tears might have slipped out from either joy or exhaustion.
As I spun around and flicked on the video, showing her my final attempt to find the perfect one, she lost her mind, yelling about how gorgeous I looked. I was glad my brother wasn’t home.
“Vicky, you look like a movie star,”she had gushed.
Looking around at the women in their tiny bikinis on the beach, some of whom had given Miles very interested looks that he ignored, I took a deep breath. Grabbing the bottom of my cover-up, I slowly lifted it, revealing the bohemian-style olive-green swimsuit. The halter top kept “the girls” in place without being scandalous. The band around my natural waist hit just right to accentuate my hourglass figure. The short skirt skimmed the top of my thighs, covering my ample curves in the back.
With a deep exhale, I pulled it completely off. I’m not sure if I could describe the moment exactly, but it felt like shedding old, uncomfortable skin—something I no longer needed or wanted. When I dropped my fringed cover-up on the blanket, I felt reborn.
I didn’t feel like a movie star; I felt like a goddess.
“Whoa,” I heard Miles whisper. I couldn’t face him. Not yet, but I was building up my nerve.
“Daddy, are you alright?” MJ asked. I couldn’t take it anymore. I turned my head to where he was sitting on the blanket. He was looking up at me, jaw dropped, eyes wide.
MJ pushed his jaw closed, making him startle. He swallowed and took a deep breath.
Mission accomplished.
Not only did I feel amazing, but I’d gotten the kind of reaction I had hoped for with Miles. It would’ve been enough for me to feel as beautiful as I did, but it sure didn’t hurt to have him appreciate what he saw either.
MJ gasped and said, “Shoot, I almost forgot.” She started rooting around in their beach bag, finally pulling out what looked like some kind of bracelet.
“I made these. One for each of us,” she said, with all the joy of a child who was proud of something they’d made.
Standing up and wiping her sandy hands on her shorts, she grabbed my wrist and slid an intricately woven bracelet onto it. When I lifted my arm to get a closer look, I noticed she had added several white beads to the black string. In the center of the beads was one gold one.
