“I have a feeling that your daughter thinks you’remorethan enough. The way she looks at you. She adores you.” I moved my hand away, but he caught it and held it in his, both of us looking down at them as they rested between us on the sofa.
When I chose this piece of furniture, I imagined him and MJ making memories on it playing games, laughing at books or movies. But my heart soared at the thought that I was the one sitting here with this incredible man making my own memories. It was clear, no matter how long I lived, I’d never forget this moment with Miles.
As my gaze stilled on our joined hands, it seemed to sum up our budding connection perfectly. Close but not close enough, both of us carefully touching the boundaries that kept us apart.
“I let her down. I couldn’t keep our family together. She misses her mom,needsher mom.” Miles’ confession broke something deep in my heart. This beautiful man had no idea how wonderful he truly was.
“Having lost my father several years ago, I can understand MJ’s pain in a way. I know it’s different but it’s still a loss. But as far as your ex, I have no context to comment on that. But I know from having loud, opinionated Italian women around me all my life that there’s always two sides to a story,” I answered, hoping to lighten the mood.
His smile was sad and short-lived. His thumb traced my palm, sending shivers over my skin. I wondered if he had any idea what he was doing to me.
“No, this was all me. Katy, my ex. I didn’t make her happy. Couldn’t keep her from leaving.” He shook his head. “I…just wasn’t enough.”
“Again, I have no experience with this but from what I was told, Katy made the decision to leave on her own. I’m sure you did all you could to convince her to stay.” I blushed and regretted my words instantly. When he looked up at me with eyes wide, I answered, “I asked about you, too, after the wedding.”
He breathed out a laugh through his nose and nodded. “Then you know she isn’t a part of our lives. Hasn’t been for many years. She tries,but it never sticks. She’s pursuing a career in music. Said it was her real dream and she wanted to be free to make it come true.”
Squeezing his hand, I answered, “Then it sounds to me like you didn’t do anything to make her leave. She made that decision on her own. I won’t speak badly of someone I don’t know, nor is it my business.At all. But from what I can see from a distance, you and MJ have created a beautiful life in spite of everything. Sorry to say, but Katy is the one missing out.” Worried that I’d said too much, I let the silence surround us.
Wiping the last of his tears, Miles let go of my hand and looked at me sheepishly. “Sorry, I have no idea where all that came from. I must seem like a mess to you.”
“No, not at all. You seem like a man who wants to care for those he loves. It’s a privilege to hear your heart. And you’re not a mess, Miles. You’re amazing.” I couldn’t have stopped the blush that crept over my face if I tried.
“Thank you, Vicky. Thank you for your words. For listening. I think you’re pretty amazing, too.” That building tension, the feeling of electricity that flowed between us whenever we got this close, had started again.
“I hope I didn’t say too much. Having no real experience in love, I probably shouldn’t even have spoken.”
His face was still flushed from his receding emotions, his eyes soft with curiosity.
“You’ve never been in love?”
When I inevitably looked back on this moment, I would blame the fact that we had been so vulnerable with one another more than once tonight. Blamed the fact that he was so close that I feared he could hear my heart as it beat hard against my breastbone.
Before I could filter my words, I let out a humorless laugh and softly answered, “I’ve never even had aboyfriend, much less been in love.”
Miles dipped his head lower as he had done before, his eyes searching mine. Lifting my head and seeing myself in the reflection of his now clear eyes, I wondered what he thought about my confession. Inwardly, I groaned, knowing this only reinforced his belief that I was too young for him. Feeling emboldened by all of this somehow, I decided to get it all out there while I had the courage.
“I, ah, I’ve never even been kissed.” His eyes widened, then immediately darkened as his brows pulled tight and low.
“That’s…not possible.” His eyes dipped to my lips, making my pulse race even faster.
“Itisif your brother is Enzo Lazzara,” I jested.
His intense stare was unnerving, but the second those words were out into existence, it was like a bucket of cold water had been poured over him. He straightened up and leaned back, angling his body away from me. The moment was over, and we both knew it. Bringing up my brother’s name was all that was needed. I was so dumb to have done that. In my defense, although Miles made me feel safe in this space, I was so out of my comfort zone.
Clearing his throat, Miles said, “Um, these sketches are perfect. I can’t wait to share them with MJ. Could you, ah, I guess email them over to me so she can see them, please?”
“Yeah, yes, of course. I’ll send them over tonight when I get back to my place.”
I stood suddenly, feeling like I had suddenly worn out my welcome. Closing my laptop with trembling hands, I slid it into my bag and slung it over my shoulder, almost knocking myself onto the sofa. Looking around for my phone, I grabbed it without making eye contact with him. “Thank you again for dinner.”
Miles stood up, his hand rubbing the back of his neck as I looked at him in my peripheral. His strong, warm hands that had held mine twice tonight taunted me as I wished they would hold me once again. He opened his mouth to say something, but I kept up my hurried pace to get out of there.
I wasn’t sure what I had expected to happen tonight.Enzohad been clear when I’d spoken with him a few days before.Annahad been clear when we spoke at the office the other day.
As I rushed to put on my shoes at the door and said a hurried goodbye to Miles when he opened it, two things were clear.
I needed my best friend immediately, as one. The other was much more serious.
