Noah looked at her. That was all—just looked as if she was the only thing worth paying attention to.
She peeled three more turnips before she realized she was smiling at a vegetable.
“Somethin’ funny?” Mrs. Ross said, passing with a pot.
“Just thinkin’.”
“Happy thoughts, by the look of it.”
“Confusin’ ones,” Ava said honestly.
Mrs. Ross patted her shoulder in passing. “Those are usually the same thing, lass.”
Mrs. Murray found her in the linen room shortly afterward, where Ava had gone looking for the spare primer she had promised Esther she would mend the binding on.
“Miss Harris.” The housekeeper appeared in the doorway with a ledger and the look of someone who has organized everything to perfection and finds it satisfying. “I’ve been meanin’ to speak with ye.”
Ava looked up from the shelf. “Oh?”
“About the Laird’s household budget. Specifically, the schoolroom supplies.” Mrs. Murray opened the ledger to amarked page. “Ye’ve been buyin’ parchment out of yer own wages.”
Ava opened her mouth.
“Daenae deny it. I keep the accounts.” Mrs. Murray’s tone was brisk but not unkind. “I’ve put it to the Laird, and he’s approved a proper allocation. Ye’re to submit any future costs to me directly, and they’ll be covered.”
“That’s... I daenae want to cause any extra budget.”
“It isnae extra. It’s what the schoolroom requires.” Mrs. Murray closed the ledger with finality. “The Laird also said to tell ye that if ye need anythin’ else for Esther’s education, ye’ve only to ask.” She paused. “His exact words were ‘whatever she needs,’ which in twenty years of workin’ for this family is the least complicated thing he’s ever said.”
Ava found the primer and held it. “He’s different with Esther now,” she said, without quite deciding to.
Mrs. Murray looked at her for a moment. “He’s different in general,” she said, and walked away before Ava could decide whether to respond to that.
Ava found Esther in the garden after lunch. This was new, three weeks ago, Esther hadn’t gone into the garden alone. She’d stayed close to Ava or close to the walls, never far from a door.
Now she was crouched by the low stone border of the kitchen garden, examining something in the soil with a focus that suggested it was very important.
“What is it?” Ava asked, crouching beside her.
“A beetle.” Esther pointed. “A very fat one. I’ve been watchin’ it f-for ages.”
“What has it been doin’?”
“Just, bein’ a beetle.” Esther frowned. “It’s very busy. It keeps goin’ back and f-forth over the same bit of ground.”
“It’s probably lookin’ for somethin’.”
“What?”
“I daenae ken. Food, maybe. Or somewhere safe.”
Esther watched the beetle make another pass. “I hope it finds it,” she said.
Ava looked at this child. This small, serious, increasingly brave person felt the familiar tightness behind her chest.
“Me too,” she said.
They crouched there together for a few more minutes, watching the beetle do its puzzling survey of the stone wall until it vanished into a crack, and Esther declared the show over.
