Ava’s heart ached at the raw vulnerability in his voice. “Noah.”
“Me brother did enough damage already. Beat her for stutterin’, made her feel worthless, abandoned her when she became inconvenient.” Noah’s hands clenched into fists. “I cannae add to that. Better to keep me distance than to hurt her with me ignorance.”
“That’s the fear talkin’,” Ava said softly. “The fear that ye’ll fail her the way William did. But Noah, ye’re nothin’ like yer brother.”
“How do ye ken that?” Noah turned to face her fully, and the anguish in his eyes nearly broke her. “How do ye ken I willnae say somethin’ cruel without meanin’ to? That I willnae make her feel small or stupid or unwanted?”
“Because ye care.” Ava reached out, her hand covering his clenched fist. “Because ye’re worried about hurtin’ her. William never worried about that; he just did it, again and again, because he didnae care. But ye? Ye care so much it terrifies ye. And that’s exactly why ye willnae hurt her.”
Noah stared down at their joined hands. “I daenae ken what to say to her. What to talk about. She’s so small, so fragile.”
“She’s stronger than ye think. And she doesnae need ye to be perfect.” Ava squeezed his hand gently. “She just needs ye to be there. To show up. To let her see that ye care about her, that ye’re nae goin’ to leave her.”
“I would never.”
“I ken that. But does she?” Ava’s voice was gentle but insistent. “Have ye told her? Have ye spent time with her, shown her through yer actions that she matters to ye? Or have ye kept yer distance and hoped she’d somehow just... ken?”
Noah’s throat worked. “I daenae want to make things worse.”
“Then let me help ye make them better.” Ava moved closer, looking up at him earnestly. “I’ll teach ye how to talk to her, how to connect with her. We’ll do it together. I’ll be there to guide ye, to step in if things get difficult. But Noah, she needs her uncle. She needs to ken that she has family who loves her.”
“I daenae ken if I can.”
“Ye can.” Ava’s voice was firm. “I’ve seen ye lead men into battle formations on a chessboard. I’ve seen ye command respect from every person in this castle. I’ve seen ye face down bandits without flinchin’. Ye can do this too. Ye just have to try.”
Noah looked at her for a long moment, something shifting in his expression. “Why are ye doin’ this? Goin’ so far to help me connect with Esther?”
Because of Esther. Because that child deserves better. Because I ken what it is to grow up feelin’ like a burden and I willnae let her feel that way if I can help it.
That was true. All of it was true.
But Noah was still watching her, waiting, and something made her pause on the truth she’d just put together so neatly. She turned it over, examined it because it was complete, and it was honest, but it still didn’t feel like the whole story.
Why are ye so determined?
Ye’ve gone further than the job asks. Further than Esther needs. Stayed longer in rooms ye had no reason to stay in. Pushed harder than any minder would push.
She didn’t have an answer for that.
“Because...” she said instead, her voice thick with emotion. “I daenae want Esther to have a childhood like mine. To be unwanted, abandoned, and lonely.”
The words hung in the air between them. Noah’s expression transformed from vulnerable to furious in a heartbeat.
“Yer father,” he growled. “Tell me his name, Ava. Tell me where to find him.”
“It doesnae matter.”
“It matters to me!” Noah’s voice rose, echoing off the stones. “It matters that someone hurt ye. That someone made ye feel unwanted and abandoned. That someone...” He stopped, his chest heaving. “Tell me his name.”
“Why?” Ava’s own anger flared. “So ye can ride out and punish him? Make yerself feel better about somethin’ that happened years ago? It’s done, Noah. It’s in the past. It doesnae matter.”
“It matters to me.” The words came out low and furious. “It matters that someone put their hands on ye. That someone made ye believe ye were worthless, made ye walk around this castle like ye’re waitin’ to be thrown out, like ye daenae deserve to take up space.”
“I...”
He stepped closer, his jaw tight. “Ye’re nae unwanted, Ava. Nay matter what he made ye believe.”
“Ye daenae ken what ye’re talkin’ about.”
