“Ye’re makin’ this very difficult, lass,” he said quietly.
Then he left, gently shutting the door with a deliberate click. He paused in the dark corridor, his hand lingering on the handle, before forcing himself to walk away.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“Now, Esther. Ye have nice writin’, but ye have to curve yer letters better so they are clearer to read. See? This word right here is ‘G-R-E-A-T.’ Can ye trace the first letter with yer finger? Just follow the curve, then go up...”
Ava watched as Esther’s small finger carefully traced the letter on the slate board, her tongue poking out slightly in concentration.
Two days had passed since that mortifying evening in the library, two days of avoiding Noah’s eyes at meals and pretending she didn’t remember telling him he was handsome while drunk on his dram.
She remembered every humiliating word. But right now, she needed to focus on Esther, not her own embarrassment.
“That’s perfect!” Ava encouraged. “Now try writin’ it yerself. Remember to do it the way I taught ye so yer letters are neat and clear.”
Esther picked up the chalk with trembling fingers. She made the curve easily enough, and soon her ‘G’ was done. But when she tried to write the letter ‘R’, her hand slipped. The letter came out crooked, lopsided.
Esther’s whole body stiffened. Her shoulders curled in, her breath quickened, and Ava saw fear cross her small face.
“I... I’m s-sorry,” Esther whispered, her voice shaking. “I didnae... I’ll do it again, I’ll do it again.”
She was already reaching to wipe the slate clean, her hands shaking so badly the chalk clattered to the table.
“Esther, sweetheart, it’s all right.”
“I’m s-sorry!” Esther’s voice climbed higher, tears welling in her eyes. “I’ll... I’ll do better, I p-promise, please daenae hit me.”
“Esther, stop.” Ava gently caught the child’s hands, holding them still. “Look at me, sweet girl. Look at me.”
Esther’s eyes met hers, wide and terrified, tears already streaming down her cheeks.
“Ye did nothin’ wrong,” Ava said firmly but gently. “Do ye hear me? Nothin’ wrong at all.”
“But... but the letter, it’s ugly, I m-messed it up.”
“Ye’ve nae been practicin’. Of course it’s nae perfect.” Ava squeezed Esther’s hands. “Learnin’ takes time. It takes practice. And it takes making mistakes. That’s how we learn, aye? Remember when ye told me yer name by writin’ it? Ye ken ye’ve been writin’ ‘R’ longer than ye realize because it’s in yer name.”
“Aye. It is. But I cannae write it now the way ye taught me. And… and what if… what if ye get angry?” Esther’s voice was barely a whisper now, her whole body trembling. “What if I’m... I’m too stupid to learn and ye... ye leave like…like M-Margaret did?”
Ava’s heart shattered. She pulled Esther into her arms, holding the sobbing child close.
“I’m nae goin’ anywhere,” she said fiercely. “Do ye hear me? I’m nae leavin’. Nae because of crooked letters or mistakes or anythin’ else. And I’m especially nae leavin’ because ye’re learnin’ at yer own pace.”
“Me... me da said I was s-stupid,” Esther hiccupped against Ava’s shoulder. “Said I c-couldnae learn nothin’ right. Said I was... was worthless.”
“Yer da was wrong.” Ava pulled back just enough to look Esther in the eyes, brushing away her tears with gentle fingers. “Ye’reone of the smartest wee lasses I’ve ever met. And do ye ken how I know that?”
Esther shook her head, still crying.
“Because ye’ve already learned all yer letters in just a few days. Because ye’re brilliant at numbers, ye counted all the way to fifty yesterday without any help. Because ye remembered every single plant I showed ye in the garden.” Ava cupped Esther’s face gently. “Ye’re nae stupid, Esther. Ye’re wonderful. And I’m so proud of ye.”
“Really?” Esther’s voice was small, uncertain.
“Really and truly.” Ava wiped away more tears. “Now, I want ye to listen very carefully to me, aye? When ye make a mistake during our lessons, I’m nae goin’ to get angry. I’m nae goin’ to yell. I’m nae goin’ to hurt ye or tell ye ye’re stupid. Do ye ken why?”
“Why?”
“Because mistakes are how we learn. Every single person who’s ever learned to write made crooked letters at first. Every person who learned to read got words wrong. That’s normal. That’s expected.”
