Hell fuckin’ no, he did not just go there.
I stop and level him with a look that usually means someone is about to get dead or beaten.
“And you’re stickin’ your nose in my sex life, why?”
I’ll give the fucker credit, he doesn’t back down. So he’s either brave or real fuckin’ stupid. Haven’t determined which one yet.
“Look, I’ve known her since she was a kid. She’s not like the girls you’re used to. She’s not some club whore.”
“Let’s ignore the obvious—which is I picked her up outside a coffee shop and had my tongue in her pussynot half an hour later—but, who I fuck is none of your goddamn business.”
“If it was anyone else, trust me, I wouldn’t care. But she’s a smart girl. She’s got plans to get out of this shit town and she doesn’t belong hanging out here.”
“You mean, with me.”
“Fine. Yeah.”
“Youfuckin’ her?”
“No.”
“Before yesterday, when’s the last time you saw her?”
“Almost two years.”
“So, you might not know fuck about her anymore. Maybe her plans have changed. And maybe I don’t give a shit what her plans are. She wants to leave town she can leave. I ain’t stoppin’ her.” This might not actually be true, but it’s none of Hemi’s fuckin’ business.
Hemi isn’t going to be swayed off this conversation that easily. “She falls hard man. She’s real smart. Last I knew, she was planning on medical school.”
“What the fuck are you even talkin’ about? You think she’s gonna give something like that up for some one-night stand?”
“No. I’m thinking she’s not able to handle a one-night stand; and since I ain’t ever seen you with a woman for longer than a week, don’t fuckin’ break her heart. She should be concentrating on finals and college and shit like that.”
I’m fightin’ real hard not to punch the living fuck outta my “brother” right now.
“Are you her fuckin’ guidance counselor now, too?”
“No. I was her friend for a long time.”
“That all?”
He levels a fierce look at me. Kid’s got balls of steel; I’ll give him that. “No. I popped her cherry.”
He says it like it’s some sort of bombshell news, but I kind of already suspected this. “Thanks for breaking her in for me. She’s a hell of a fuck.”
Hemi gets a little red in the face and his fists ball up at his sides. This is rich.
“You seriously thinking about fighting your Sergeant-at-Arms over a piece of ass you ain’t tapped in two years?”
“No,” he spits out.
“’Cause I didn’t get the impression you were the last guy up in her snug little cunt.” This is actually a lie, but my goal ain’t to defend her honor right now, it’s to put this fucker in his place.
“Fuck you.”
“No, thanks. We done here?”
“Yeah.”
