“That’s not what it means.” Jackson pulls me into his chest, holding me tight. “Your mom had a reason for not telling you. You may not know what that reason is but I’m sure she only did it because she thought it was best for you.”
“Lying to me is what’s best for me? Making me believe someone else is my dad? An alcoholic drug addict who never came to see me? I would’ve been better off if she told me my dad was just some random guy.”
Jackson lets me go and takes my hand. “Let’s go back to my place. We can’t stay out here.”
“Brock’s still awake. He might notice I’m gone.”
“Yeah? So?” Jackson smiles. “You know his secret. You can use it to blackmail him into letting you do stuff.”
“My dad said I’m not supposed to tell anyone.”
“Why would you listen to him? Did he threaten you if you told?”
“No. I just . . .” I look at Jackson. “You really think I should tell Brock I know?”
“Not yet. I think you should wait until you need to. He obviously didn’t want you — or anyone else — to know this, which means this is your ticket to get whatever you want from him. Money. Your freedom. Maybe you could stop going to Twisted Pine.”
“Except then I wouldn’t be able to spy on Braden and his friends.” I sigh. “I don’t know what to do. I need to think about it.”
He tugs on my hand. “Let’s go.”
When we’re back at his house, I curl up on his couch, grab the blanket that’s on it, and cover myself because I’m freezing. His house isn’t cold, but knowing Brock is my dad, and my mom is a liar, sent a chill through me that won’t go away.
“The worst part of this,” I say, “is finding out my mom lied to me.”
Jackson sits beside me. “Come here.” I move over and snuggle into his arms. “From what you’ve told me about your mom, she loved you more than anything, which tells me she wouldn’t do this unless she was trying to protect you.”
“Protect me from what?”
“Brock’s fame, and all that comes with it. He was a huge star back then. When you get that kind of fame, you can’t even leave your house without cameras following you around. If people found out about you back then, cameras would’ve been following you and your mom around New York. Your mom wouldn’t have wanted that, would she?”
“No, she would’ve hated that. She was an introvert. She didn’t even like going out. She expressed herself through her art. She said that’s how she communicated with people.”
“So maybe that’s the reason. She didn’t want you being part of Brock’s world.”
“But it was also Devon’s world. He wasn’t a big star when I was born, but he could’ve been later. What if his career tookoff and he ended up being a bigger celebrity than Brock? People knew I was Devon’s daughter, so the fame excuse doesn’t really hold up.”
Jackson and I sit quietly as I think about this. I’m still upset, but no longer feel sick or like I can’t breathe. Instead, I feel safe. Calm. Even a little sleepy, despite being wired just an hour ago. Being in Jackson’s arms, feeling the warmth of his body against mine, feeling him hold me — it makes everything better.
It’s proof that I love him. I’m afraid to admit that because I loved Axl and he broke my heart. I love Jackson even more than Axl, so I’m terrified of how much it’ll hurt if things end between us. But my heart’s already made the decision, and my mind can’t change it.
“Brock was married, right?” Jackson says. “When you were born?”
“Yeah. To Miranda. She was pregnant with Braden. He’s a couple months older than me.”
“Then maybe that’s it. Maybe Brock forced your mom not to tell you because he didn’t want anyone finding out.”
“Celebrities cheat all the time. Why would anyone care?”
“Because back then he had an image to protect. He was playing a minister with a wife and six kids.”
“That was a TV show, not real life.”
“When you’re on a show that big, people think the character is the person. It happens to celebrities all the time. In the movies my dad directs, the actors that play villains get hate mail. People think they’re like that in real life. So yeah, if people thought Brock was a wholesome family man and then found out he cheated on his pregnant wife, he would’ve been fired. The show would’ve ended and it would’ve taken Brock years to get back on TV, or it could’ve ended his career entirely.”
“My mom wouldn’t have listened to him. She wouldn’t let Brock tell her what to do.”
“She would if he threatened her. Or you.”
