"So what happened?"
"He just said all this stuff about how I've changed. How I need to go back to Haverhill so I can be like I was before."
"Did you tell him to go to hell?"
"Not exactly. I tried to explain I wasn't happy at Haverhill but he wouldn't listen. He just kept acting like I'd be going back there. He said he made it all happen and that he'd been working with my dad."
"What the hell? Was he always that controlling?"
"Even worse. He was always telling me what to do, how to act, what to wear."
"I can't believe you put up with that. The way you told me off when we met, you didn't seem like someone who'd put up with being told what to do."
I take a moment to think about that. "I wonder if that's when it changed."
"What do you mean?"
"When you were bullying me when we first met I felt like I could finally take back control. Unlike Chad, I didn't know you and didn't care what you thought of me. I could say and do whatever I wanted." I smile, thinking back to the first day of school. "When I sat on your desk I thought you might yell at me but I didn't care. And after I did it, I felt great. I felt strong, like I could fight back and say whatever was in my head. I'd never felt that way before, but once I did, I didn't ever want to go back to how I used to be."
"So I get credit for this?" Dean kids.
"You do." I lean down and kiss him. "Being mean to me actually helped me."
"And you giving it back turned me on."
I laugh. "Really?"
"No one had ever talked to me that way. And no one would dare sit on my desk the way you did. They wouldn't even try to sit in my row. Everyone knows to stay away from me and they know not to challenge me. But then you show up and do whatever the hell you want. I'm twice your size and you had no fear."
"I'm still not afraid of you," I say, getting serious. "I want to talk to you about something."
"Is this about your ex?"
"No, it's about you. Don't be mad at me but I kind of asked Eve's dad about finding you a counselor. Someone you could talk to about the stuff with your dad."
"Why would you ask Eve's dad?"
"He's a psychologist. He's worked with guys like your dad. He knew about your dad escaping from prison so I asked him where he might go. Then I asked him..." I pause. "Promise you won't get mad?"
"I'm stuck in this bed. What am I going to do?"
"Yell at me. Or tell me to leave."
"Brook, if we want this to work, you have to be able to tell me stuff, even if you think it'll make me mad."
I take a breath. "I asked if your dad's violence was genetic. I asked for you, not for me. I know you'd never hurt me but I want you to believe that too. I know you're worried about it."
"So what did he say?"
"He said some of it is, but most of it's learned."
"I grew up seeing it. I learned that's how you express anger. It's why I'm worried about being with you."
"But he said it can be unlearned. You can go to counseling and learn ways to control your anger. You can figure out what triggers you and then react a different way." I hold his hand. "Dean, this is something you can manage, and over time, you may not even need to. You'll just get angry and let it pass, without anything bad happening."
"If I could find a way to do that, I would."
"Eve's dad offered to find someone who could help you, and it might not even cost much. Would you consider going to see someone? A counselor?"
