Tonight Dean opened up to me like he never has before. I even saw tears in his eyes as he explained to me why he keeps pushing me away. It really has nothing to do with me. It's about him and his fear of becoming like his father. I wish he'd told me that sooner, but now that I know, I feel like I understand him better.
Even if Dean and I hadn't gotten back together, my decision about Haverhill wouldn't have changed. I made that decision before Dean and I talked. When Haverhill called to ask when I'd be going back, I had this heavy feeling in my chest and a queasiness in my stomach. It was a feeling of dread. My head kept telling me I needed to go back there but my heart was telling me not to. I never listen to my heart but this time I did because I knew it was the right decision.
The school I'm at is old, run-down, and crowded, but I feel comfortable there, more comfortable than I ever did at Haverhill. And I have friends there—real friends that I know I can count on.
"You want to go do something?" Eve asks as I get in her car. She drove me to the hospital to see Dean, then came back to pick me up.
"Sure! What do you want to do?"
She smiles at me. "You're in a good mood."
"Because Dean and I are back together. And this time I think it'll last."
"I'll believe when I see it," she mutters as she drives out of the parking lot.
"I know Dean and I have had our problems but I'm not giving up on him." I smile as I look back at the hospital, up to the window of Dean's room. "I love him."
She sighs. "Okay, enough of that. What do you want to do? See a movie? Get something to eat?"
"Let's get some food and bring it back to your house. All this time I've known you I've never been there."
"I'm at my dad's house this week. I don't have a room there. Evan and I have to share the guest room."
"You can't go back to your mom's house?"
"I could, but she had a date tonight and I don't want to walk in on anything." She shudders. "I don't even want to think about it."
"Then let's go to your dad's house. Is he home?"
"Probably. He doesn't go out much."
We get some tacos and bring them back to her dad's house. It's a small brick house in a neighborhood of historic homes.
"Hey, Dad," Eve says as she goes in the house. A man around my dad's age with dark hair and a beard is sitting on the couch. "I brought a friend over. This is Brook."
He gives me a nod. "Nice to meet you."
"You too."
"She's the one dating Dean Sanders," Eve tells him as she sits down on the floor, setting our bag of tacos on the coffee table. "Dean's the guy with the missing brother. Brook, sit down and eat."
"On the floor?"
She shrugs. "Floor. Couch. Wherever you want. Dad doesn't have a kitchen table so your options are the floor or the couch. Or you can stand."
"I've been meaning to get a table," her dad says to me. "I just haven't. I don't really have a need for one unless the kids are over."
I sit next to him on the couch, leaning over to get my tacos from the coffee table. None of my old friends would dare eat on the couch. They wouldn't eat anywhere but the dining room table. Their parents wouldn't allow it. Everyone there was so formal. I never felt relaxed like I do here.
"So where's your brother tonight?" Eve's dad asks her.
"At the football game," she says, her mouth full of taco.
"Since when does Evan go to football games?"
"Since he started dating a cheerleader. Don't ask me how it happened. I still don't get why she'd want to go out with him."
I turn to Eve's dad. "Eve said you're a psychologist?"
