‘I don’t know,’ she answered truthfully.
‘How could he not have told her? He was her pa. She had a right to know.’
Bex tried to swallow down the tears that were filling her throat.
‘She knew she was loved,’ she said. ‘She may not have known Fergus was her dad. But your grandfather— I mean, your great-uncle, the man that raised her,’ she corrected herself. ‘She knew he loved her. She probably knew Fergus loved her too. Just like you did.’
Duncan nodded, and Bex couldn’t hold it back any more. She dropped his hands and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him as close to her as possible, squeezing him as if she could squeeze all the hurt away and replace it with love. If only that were possible. Duncan’s chest shuddered as he released a breath, but it was only when he inhaled again that Bex noticed how much he was trembling.
‘It’s going to be okay. I promise you.’
When they finally broke apart, a faint smile graced Duncan’s lips. ‘Thank you. Thanks for being here.’
‘Don’t be silly,’ she said. ‘I guess this might have been part of why Fergus wanted me up here too.’
‘Aye, I think you might be right.’
As silence settled around them, one of the other things Gordon had said flickered into her mind.
‘You and Kieron are cousins,’ she said. ‘Oh my God, you and Kieron are cousins!’
‘First cousins once removed is the technical term, I think.’
‘Like that makes a difference.’
Duncan let out a hollow laugh, but it faded almost as quickly as it started. ‘He’s gonna be furious. Not that I’m thrilled an’ all.’
The conversation reminded Bex of when they had finally decided to break up. Not just because of the tears they were both trying to stop from falling, but because of the constant silences perforating their words. Silence, during which you could almost hear the cogs of the other person’s mind whirring away, with things they weren’t sure whether they should say.
‘So… what does this mean now?’ Bex asked. ‘Can you just move into the hall? Do you think Gordon’s spoken to Kieron already?’
‘I dunno.’ He rubbed the back of his neck. ‘I should have asked. I should’ve asked Gordon. There are prob’ly things I need to do. Things to sign. I should’ve asked all that. I should have thought. I need to get things sorted. Folk need to know things. Need to know about their jobs ’round the estate. There’s stuff to do.’ He dropped his head into his hands in clear exasperation. Bex placed her hand on his shoulder.
‘I don’t think anyone expects you to start working immediately. And Gordon will let you know what you need to do on the legal side of things. Right now, what matters is you getting your head around this. What do you need? Tell me. Do you want to call your family? Do you want me to call them? Or do you just want some space?’
‘Honestly? I don’t know.’ He turned his head and gazed out of the window. ‘Some air, maybe. Aye, some air would be good.’
‘Okay. Why don’t you go outside for a bit? Take a breather,’ she suggested. ‘Go down to the loch? Take the dogs for a walk.’
He nodded, as if he were only half listening. ‘Right. Yes. That’s what I should do. The dogs need letting out. They’ve been in the lodge all night. Kenna’ll need feedin’ too. I should go, do that.’
A spark of relief flickered in Bex; the dogs needed letting out. Duncan wasn’t going to let a small thing like inheriting millions of pounds distract him from something like that.
He got up and pulled on the clothes from the night before, moving over to the door. When Bex followed to see him out, he swept his arm around her waist, pulled her into him and planted a kiss gently on the top of her head.
‘Just so you know,’ he said as he stepped back. ‘I ain’t forgotten where we were before Gordon rang. We’re going to have that conversation again. You understand?’
Bex nodded, her heart skipping a beat as she pushed up onto her tiptoes and kissed him lightly on the lips. ‘Good. Because I want that too.’ As she dropped back down, she squeezed his hand. ‘I know it might not feel like it at the moment, but this is a good thing. I promise you. You know the truth. That’s a good thing.’
‘Aye?’ He didn’t sound convinced. ‘I guess we’ll just have to wait an’ see.’
27
Bex flopped down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. A strange numbness filled her bones. As if it had centred so much emotion in the last thirty minutes alone that it couldn’t deal with any more. Even as Ruby snuggled in under her arm, she made no attempt to move, or even tell the dog off. She had learned when she’d first come up here that sometimes, only the hug from a furry friend would do, and this was one of those moments.
Duncan was Fergus’s grandson. The man he had thought of as his boss for his entire adult life had been his flesh and blood. She couldn’t start to imagine how he would feel. It was no wonder he needed space. She’d been running for the Highlands if it had happened to her.
The thought caused a whir of sadness to catch in her. That was what Duncan had done when they had broken up. Run to the Highlands. Camped beneath the stars, away from it all, in the hope of getting his head clear. That was why he’d missed all of Fergus’s calls. Would it have been any easier, she wondered, if Duncan had heard it from the old man’s mouth? It was difficult to know. There was no right way to learn news like this.
