‘Maybe we should talk about this another time,’ Bex said, a churning unease filling her. Maybe taking Duncan up to her room wasn’t the wisest idea, but it wasn’t like they had much choice.
Lorna nodded in agreement.
‘Are you sure you don’t want some more help?’
‘Don’t worry, I’ve got it.’
Bex had learned well over a year ago, after a birthday party, that the best way to get a drunk Duncan upstairs was to let him crawl. Sure, it was utterly undignified, even more so in a public place than in the privacy of the lodge, but thankfully, there was no one around out back other than a couple of kitchen staff as Duncan went on his hands and knees up the staircase. Besides, it wasn’t like he hadn’t already given them a show that evening.
‘Just this way,’ Bex directed him, before hoisting him up, grabbing her key, opening the door and pushing him through it. The moment the door clicked shut, he was back on the floor again, although this time it was deliberate.
‘Hey, girl. Hey, how are you? Did you miss me?’ From the way Ruby bounded up onto him, licking his face as she beat her tail, her answer was a definite yes. ‘I missed you too. Aye, I did. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna let him get you. I’m not. You’re not goin’ anywhere with that bad man.’
Bex’s insides twisted. She’d been so angry at the way Kieron had threatened Duncan that she hadn’t even thought about what it meant. Was he saying he’d take Ruby too? Was he going to say that she’d stolen her as well? The thought made her nauseous.
‘Come on,’ Bex said, hoisting Duncan up and pushing the thoughts aside. After all, it wasn’t like she could do anything about the situation at this time of day. ‘You can see Ruby in the morning. Now you need to sleep this drink off.’
Thankfully, Duncan didn’t need much persuasion. He stood, moved a couple of steps across to where the bed was and flopped straight down, without so much as bothering to take his boots off.
‘Okay, we’re gonna need to get those off you,’ Bex said as she started work on his laces. Then, having removed those, she went for his socks. After that, she stopped, stepped back, and tried to work out what the best thing to do next was.
When she’d been rescued from the storm and taken back to Highland Hall, she knew he’d stripped her clothes off to dry her properly and put her in warm ones so she wouldn’t get ill. That had been necessary. This wasn’t the same, but she still didn’t want him lying in her freshly made hotel bed in his grubby clothes. Not to mention, it was a lot warmer inside than out. If he fell asleep with all those layers on, he’d boil.
‘Come on,’ she said gently. ‘Let’s just get this shirt off you.’
With him flat on his back, it was easier to undo the buttons of his plaid shirt and slip his arms out of it, though removing the long-sleeved T-shirt he had underneath was a darn sight harder.
‘I need you to sit up,’ she said, as she manoeuvred herself behind him and tried to push him up to sitting. ‘That’s it. Just one minute. You just need to stay there for one minute.’
She tugged at his arm and lifted his T-shirt over his head.
‘I was… I… sl…’ His mumbles got lost in the fabric of his top.
‘What was that?’ Bex said, tossing the T-shirt on the floor. ‘Did you say something?’
‘I said I was telling the truth. I didn’t sleep with her. I didn’t sleep with his lass.’
Bex’s ribs squeezed around her chest.
‘Duncan, you don’t need to explain yourself to me,’ she said softly. ‘We were broken up.’
‘I know,’ he said, his voice thick with alcohol and tears. ‘But I didn’t. I thought… I thought I wanted to. Thought maybe if I could be distracted…’ He trailed off, his words slurring slightly. ‘But every time we’d start talking or kissing I’d just… stop. All I want is you, Bex. That’s all I ever want, for it to be you.’
‘I know,’ she said, brushing his hair back with her hand. ‘I know. But we’re not talking about this while you’re drunk. Sleep now. Talk in the morning.’
Slowly, she eased him down onto the pillows.
Almost immediately, soft snores escaped from his lips and for a moment, she just watched him, her heart heavy with a mix of feelings she couldn’t quite untangle. How was it possible to love someone this much and walk away from them? She had no idea, and yet she had done it. And she would have to live with that forever.
The armchair was big enough for her to sleep on. It wouldn’t be comfortable, but it would do.
But deep down she knew that was never going to happen. Instead, she kicked off her own shoes, pulled on her pyjamas and crawled into bed beside him, resting her head on the pillow next to his. As his steady breathing filled the quiet room, she felt her eyelids grow heavy and she soon also drifted off to sleep. As messed up as everything had been since she’d come back to LochDarroch, somehow she’d never felt more right than in this moment. Back by Duncan’s side.
19
It was the most comfortable Bex could remember feeling in ages. She stretched out her hand, only to close it again. Back the same way it had been before she’d woken; fingers intertwined with Duncan’s. Palms pressed against one another. It was her favourite way to wake up, and she’d always loved that about sleeping beside Duncan. No matter how they went to sleep, how tired, or possibly how drunk they were, or whether one of them went to bed later than the other, they always woke up holding hands. It was like an unspoken, magnetic pull that drew them closer, making sure they started each day together, as a team.
As she drew in a lungful of air, the smell of stale whisky caught in her throat. Her heart juddered. They weren’t at the lodge, she remembered. They weren’t even together. Hurriedly she pulled her hand away. Feeling comfortable holding Duncan’s hand wasn’t what she was supposed to be doing now. She needed to help him first. Help him with this battle against Kieron. Everything else, including their feelings, could wait.
