‘Yes, Mum,’ she said with a sigh. ‘I know it well.’
14
It was difficult. The gesture her parents had made was so kind and heartfelt, and Bex knew they’d understand if she didn’t have much time to spend with them. But she had given herself this month to clear her head. To try to get control of things. And she already felt guilty about wishing they’d just checked with her first. Her chest tightened as she struggled to work out how she was going to balance it all. There was so much to do, and yet it felt like it was all out of her hands. Like all she could do was stand there and be swept away with the tide, praying she wouldn’t be thrown into a boulder. Never could she remember a time when she had felt so utterly powerless.
With her plans for an early night scuppered, she decided it was time to bite the bullet and fill Daisy and Claire in on the latest goings-on.
This time, Bex didn’t feel the need to keep anything from them at all, and unlike her conversation with Duncan’s parents and Lorna, the conversation didn’t focus on the inheritance and the logistics of it all. Instead, it centred entirely on her relationship with Duncan. Somehow, she’d kept the tears to a minimum, but it had been touch and go a couple of times. Thankfully, she was through the worst of it now.
‘He told you he loved you, and you were going to tell him you wanted to make it work, right before you discovered he might be the new heir?’ Daisy asked.
‘I think so. I mean, yes, I was,’ Bex admitted. ‘But if I do that now, it’ll look like I’m only interested again because he’s got all this money.’
‘Of course it doesn’t look like that! No one in their right mind would think that,’ Daisy said firmly.
‘You’ve no idea how these little villages work,’ Bex replied. ‘People absolutely will think that.’
‘Okay, well, if the villagers do, let them. It’s not like Duncan’s going to think that, is he?’
‘No,’ Bex said hesitantly. ‘But I don’t want him to be at the centre of gossip because of me.’
‘You really think this gossip will be worse than what he’s already dealing with now?’ Claire chimed in. ‘Honestly, I doubt it.’
‘I guess not,’ Bex murmured. She took a deep inhale, which she released as a sigh. ‘I just don’t know if I’m getting all caught up in this and forgetting the real issue.’
‘Which is?’
‘That just because we want to be together, it doesn’t mean it’ll work. After all, we broke up for a reason.’ A dull ache spread through Bex’s chest.
‘But Duncan told you he was willing to move down south, right?’ Claire said, recalling part of their earlier conversation.
‘But he said that before all this. There’s no way he can move if he’s laird.’
‘Why not? Surely he’ll have enough money that he’ll be able to do whatever he wants,’ Daisy commented.
Bex pinched the bridge of her nose. ‘That’s just not the way it works. The laird’s central to life here. Central to the village. Duncan can’t do that role if he’s not here. And if he is the laird, he’s going to want to do Fergus justice. He’ll want to give it his all. Which would mean me giving up everything I’ve worked for to be a lady of the manor. I just can’t see myself in that role.’
Silence filled the call. She could tell her friends were searching for the right thing to say. That one comment or suggestion that would somehow make everything right. But she already knew that didn’t exist.
‘I’m still shocked about Kieron, though.’ Claire broke the silence. ‘What an arse. Threatening you? He can’t actually do anything, though, can he? I mean, it’s just hot air with people like that, right?’
‘Yes, I’m sure he just needed to blow off steam,’ Bex replied, though an uncomfortable knot twisted in her stomach. The truth was… well, she wasn’t exactly sure. Kieron might not be a laird, but he still had influence. Thanks to him, her accountancy firm in London had half a dozen new high-end clients, and she’d been promised a corner office. But it wasn’t like he’d tell them to stop working with her… or would he?
She drew a long breath. ‘It’s fine. It’ll all be okay,’ she said, more to convince herself than her friends.
‘Well, there’s barely any business at the coffee shop in this weather,’ Daisy said. ‘So if you want even more people to show up at your doorstep, maybe Theo and I will come up and surprise you. You’ve got room for us and another dog, right?’
‘That’s not funny,’ Bex replied flatly.
‘It’s a little funny.’ Daisy laughed.
As down as she was still feeling about it all, there was no denying that talking to the girls helped. Just being able to say exactly how she felt and knowing she wouldn’t be judged was something she would always feel grateful for. As much as she had that with Lorna and Eilidh normally, it was hard when it was Duncan at the centre of it all. Her friends from home had added a distanced perspective, and right now, that was exactly what she needed.
‘You know I’m only joking. But we love you, okay? And if you did happen to want us up there, you just call, okay?’
‘I will.’
‘You also know that we’d be okay without you, don’t you?’ Claire added.
