“We just ordered food. Can we add anything for you?” Jason asks.
Carrie shakes her head. “We ate before we came over. How about we wait until L.J. has his lunch and then we get going?” she asks her husband.
“Sounds like a plan,” Samuel agrees.
An hour later, we’ve all eaten our sandwiches, caught up with each other, and it is time for the Bennetts and L.J. to get on the road.
“Mom, I’ll be home later tonight. I’ll see you all tomorrow. You have the key to my place, right?” Landon asks.
She nods. “I still think we could just stay in a hotel.”
“Nope. There’s no reason you can’t stay with me. I have the room,” he says of his three-bedroom in Tribeca. He found a renovated warehouse that has been turned into an oversized apartment near Club TEN29, their place of business. “I mean, we have the space,” he says with the grin he always has when mentioning Vivi, his wife.
“Okay, then. We’ll see you when you get home tonight or in the morning,” Samuel says.
I kneel down so I’m face-to-face with my little boy. “You’re sure you’re ready for this trip?”
“I can’t wait to see the Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty and eat New York City pizza with Uncle Landon!” he says with a small fist pump that has me chuckling along with holding back tears. It is going to be a long few weeks, and we’ve never been separated before.
But I won’t dim his excitement and anticipation by expressing my anxiety or fears. He’ll be fine, and knowing that, so will I. “Okay then, give me a big hug and a kiss. Then we’ll get your suitcase out of my car and we’ll put it in Grandma and Grandpa’s SUV.”
L.J. puts his skinny arms around me and hugs me tight, something I cherish because I know the time is around the corner when he won’t let his mom pepper him with the kisses I do now.
“Go run to the bathroom before you get on the road,” I tell him.
Standing, I face Carrie and discover the other woman staring at me with an understanding expression on her attractive face. “He’ll be fine. We’ll keep him so busy he won’t have time to be sad or upset. And we’ll have him call and FaceTime every day or whenever he wants in between.”
I force a smile. “I think he’s handling this much better than me,” I say, managing a laugh.
“Such is a mother’s lot in life. But they say if you can send your child off happily without you, you’ve done your job. And you’re doing an exceptional one. Especially since you’re doing it alone.” Carrie places a hand on my cheek. “Enjoy your summer, honey. Get used to classes and working and he’ll be home before you know it.”
Samuel clears his throat. “Are we ready?” he asks, obviously uncomfortable with our emotional reactions.
“I’m finished!” L.J. cries, running out of the bathroom and skidding to a halt by his grandfather, grasping the man’s hand.
“Perfect.” I smooth a hand over my flowy top that covers my leggings. “Let’s switch his bag to the back of your SUV and you can get going.”
The guys clean up the sandwich wrappers on the floor and throw everything into a huge garbage bag in the kitchen.
“I’ll get your bag,” Landon says, following L.J. out to the cars.
While the guys wait inside, I watch as L.J. seat belts himself and I find myself waving goodbye from the driveaway, no longer holding back tears since he can’t see that I’m crying.
Tanner comes up behind me. I didn’t hear him come outside, I was so focused on my son. Always the most silent of the three, he wraps an arm around me and speaks, his voice a low rumble. “He’ll be fine. And so will you.”
I sniff. “I know.” And I hold on to the thought that a big reason for both this move and the trip is to let him learn more about his father by spending quality time with Levi’s parents and his twin brother, all of whom have been so good to me over the years.
The moving van arrives a short time later, and I have no more time to dwell on missing my son. I direct the movers with the furniture, watching as they put the labeled boxes in their proper rooms and the guys get to work helping me put things away for both myself and L.J. They accomplish much more than I would have alone.
During the chaos, Carrie calls to tell me they arrived safely in Manhattan and are going out for dinner later. Knowing I have nothing to worry about, I turn my focus to my new house.
Although I still have some boxes left, I am in much better shape than I anticipated, thanks to my friends. The guys leave, and I spend the night alone in my new house, learning the new creaks and sounds and getting used to my new normal.
The next day, I work all day on the unpacked boxes, and when dinnertime comes around faster than I expected, I decide to go into town to pick up something to eat while getting to know the area where I now live.
I consider this summer a chance to find myself again, the woman I am beyond L.J.’s mother. I missed out on learning about myself before I became a parent. I figure a return to college, the milestone that changed my life to begin with, will be the perfect way to start over.
***
