Somehow, he felt worse than he had before his friend and brother came in.
Weddings were quite a pain to plan, and even with Orlagh and Amber’s help, it was still a pain in the neck. One that became even more evident as she stood on a platform at the modiste’s,being draped, cosseted, pinned, and pricked more times than she could count. She couldn’t even remember the colors of the dresses she had chosen.
Somehow, she had answered questions about fabrics, colors, and style without being fully present. Now sitting, waiting for Amber to settle the bill with the seamstress, she felt exhausted in more ways than just the physical.
Yes, her body ached in more places than she could count, but that was nothing compared to the dull ache in her chest that had refused to leave her alone for days. An ache that she suspected was only going to worsen by the time the wedding was held.
“Ye ken, ye can always call off the wedding,” Orlagh said quietly beside her, pulling her out of her reverie.
“Why will I do that?” Talia gasped, taken aback by such a suggestion. “Invitations have already been sent out to neighboring clans. I will be inviting ruin if I do such a thing.”
“Well, I would say it is better if the wedding is ruined and nae yer life. Ye should never make a huge decision while unsure; that spells doom. I should ken I made that mistake once with Darragh’s faither. The signs were all there at the beginning. He didnae want to listen to what I had to say. He insisted that his wife always follow whatever rule he set, nay matter how harebrained it was. I had an inkling that it would only worsen after the wedding, but I couldnae cancel it because I didnae want to disappoint me parents. So I married him, and so began theworst time of me life. He beat me so badly many times that I almost lost me sight just a few days after Jenson’s birth.
“Eventually, the pain I had sought to save me parents from worsened until I arrived at their doorstep one night in the middle of winter, almost out of me mind with a fever. They nursed me until I was well enough to talk about me experience. Me parents and braithers were outraged and vowed that they would teach me husband a lesson. They begged me to never return. But I couldnae make that promise, nae when me babies were still here at McGhee Castle. They only managed to convince me to stay until me wounds healed. All was well until Rory decided to come look for me at me parents’ house, threatening to raid it if they didnae relinquish me.
“Me braithers didnae like that, so they unleashed their anger on Rory, and let’s just say that he didnae come out of that brawl the same. For the rest of his life, he had a broken nose and a few scars on his face and body courtesy of that fight.”
Talia’s chest swelled with glee that the man had gotten the justice she deserved, even if it was short-lived.
“He ran back home after the brawl, and a week later, after begging me braithers repeatedly, I returned home. That time, things were different. Rory didnae dare lay a hand on me, but he found other ways to punish me. He ignored me as if I didnae exist, brought many lovers home, and flaunted them in front of me with nay remorse. In response. I threw meself into caring for me children.
“All seemed to be well, except Darragh was old enough to witness his faither’s cruelty. I could do nothing but watch as his anger towards his faither turned him into this stiff fellow. And it only got worse after his faither died and left a great burden on his young shoulders. But he seems to loosen up around ye,” Orlagh said, with a rueful smile.
“While I will always be grateful for me sons, there are times when I wish I could go back in time and stop meself from marrying Rory. That way, I would avoid such a horrible experience. But ye… ye have a chance to make a love match only if ye daenae make the wrong choice due to a sense of misguided loyalty.” Her lips curled into a mischievous smile reminiscent of her younger son. “Besides, this clan has survived far worse. What is a wee bit of scandal that we cannae handle? Have faith in us. This is the one time ye are allowed to be selfish. Ye will have to live with yer choice for the rest of yer life.”
On the contrary, this was the one time that being selfish would be disastrous because it would mean abandoning Orlagh to a castle that might collapse with her in it.
Talia’s heart broke for what the older woman had gone through, but she had no fear about what might happen to her. Laird Alan did not seem like the type who was quick to violence. But then, most people managed to hide their violence.
This decision might have been easier before she had met Darragh, his clansmen, and the family that had become hers. Abandoning them to their fate felt like gutting her own self with a blunt knife. She could not do it.
Fate was truly cruel.
It was quite strange how a month could be both long and short in different ways.
Long in the sense that in such a short time, she had found a family that accepted her, fallen in love with one utterly handsome and annoying laird, and had even gotten around to planning a wedding, even if it were not to the man she wanted.
But it was also short because she was now forced to make a difficult decision before the deadline. In no time, she would fulfill the clause of the will.
She gritted her teeth at the thought of dancing to the whims of Jonathan’s ghost.
Growing up, she had always looked forward to his return from his voyages to exotic lands. Apart from the rare gifts he brought back from his travels, she had enjoyed his mind-blowing stories about the cultures of those places.
He had been her eyes into the world outside the bounds of her room and the books she read. From him, she had learned how to play several games. Even now, she remembered the wild laughter that used to escape her whenever she achieved the great feat of beating him in chess. And it was a great feat because most people who knew Jonathan knew that he was a very intelligentand shrewd man who would never go easy on her, even if he had a soft spot for her. So when she won, she did not doubt that it was due to her skill.
But of all things he enjoyed, Jonathan loved to prank her. He was forever hiding behind doors, spooking her when she walked past. Sometimes he would pretend that he did not bring a gift he promised her, enjoying the disappointed look on her face before brandishing the said gift.
If she were being honest, she missed him. He had a knack for putting her at ease. Perhaps he might have told a joke or pranked her. Something to assuage her anxiety. A state of mind that existed now because of his scheming
Well, if he was cracking one last joke, it was quite unfortunate that she was not laughing.
If Mr. McCain asked Laird Alan any more questions, she would tear out at his perfectly gelled hair. Yes, she understood that it was his duty to make sure everything was happening in line with his former employer’s wishes, but surely he did not need to inspect dishes or eye the floor as if he did not trust it to be well swept.
Now, he was interrogating her betrothed, asking questions that he most likely expected to reveal the gaps in her plan.
Under different circumstances, she might have found his commitment funny. Instead, she felt a tad irritated.
Dimly, she realized that her irritation had little to do with the solicitor and everything to do with her anger at her lot in life.
