The doorbell cutsthrough the silence like a knife and we both freeze. Vadim is still inside me and his hands are still gripping my hips. For a moment neither of us moves, and then the doorbell rings again.
"Fuck," he mutters and pulls out of me quickly. I feel the loss immediately and more cum drains from me onto the counter and the edge of the cupboard. I grimace, but there isn't much I can do about it.
He grabs his boxers off the floor and yanks them on, followed by his jeans as I slide off the counter. My legs are shaking so badly, I have to grab onto the edge to steady myself. My clothes arescattered across the kitchen floor mixed with his, and I scramble to gather them up as the doorbell rings a third time.
This time, Vadim's buttoning his jeans as he walks toward the front door. He doesn't look back at me, and I'm grateful for that. I don't want him to see my face right now because I feel embarrassed as I scurry through the living room, clutching my clothes to my chest and running for the bedroom.
My bare feet slap against the floor and I hear Vadim opening the front door as I slam the bedroom door shut behind me. His voice drifts down the hallway as I drop my clothes on the bed and grab a towel from the closet.
My whole body's trembling. I can still feel him everywhere. His hands on my skin. His mouth on my neck. The way he filled me completely. My God, he was incredible. I almost feel giddy. But I also feel dirty now.
I head to the bathroom and turn on the shower as hot as it will go. Steam fills the room, and I step under the spray before it's fully heated. The water is lukewarm at first and then scalding, but I don't adjust the temperature. I want it to burn and sanitize me. After my long shift and the stress of it all, I want to feel clean again.
What the hell was I thinking? I wasn't thinking. That's the problem. I let my body make decisions that my brain should have been making. I let ten days of tension and proximity and forced intimacy turn into something physical.
And it was good—that's what makes it worse. It was incredible. And I hate that Vadim knows my body so well already. I hate that he could make me come twice in the span of minutes. I hatethat I wanted him so badly, I didn't even care that we were in his kitchen with the lights on.
I press my forehead against the cool tile and let the hot water pound against my back. This isn't how my life was supposed to go. I was supposed to work at the diner and save money. Maybe go back to school and meet someone nice and normal who worked a regular job.
Instead I'm married to a Russian criminal who just fucked me on his kitchen counter, whom I simultaneously hate and desperately want. He makes me feel things I've never felt before and terrifies me in ways I can't articulate.
But isn't that what makes him so irresistible? That he's so unpredictable and powerful?
I'm making poor life choices, and most of them are spurred on by very strong emotions, and not the good type. Everything changes eventually, just usually not this fast or this dramatically. And I feel powerless to stop the changes from continuing.
Why can't I seem to get a handle on things? And when will I be able to stop for a moment to think things through? Because if I keep up at this pace, I'll be running jobs right alongside Vadim before we've been together six months. I'm just that stupid.
15
VADIM
It's been almost a month since I married Danica and I'm no closer to finding Lebedev. It's really frustrating considering I extended my stay here by getting hitched and the woman I'm with still doesn't really admit that things have changed between us. What used to be a cavernous hole between us on the bed has become more like tectonic plates shifting in our sleep. Though she still won't get up to have coffee with me before I leave the house.
This morning, we had sex before I left the house and my God, does she drive me wild. She was still dripping wet from the shower and I couldn't help myself. I just came in to remind her that I may be later today and she was in nothing but a towel. I bent her right over the sink and fucked her as I watched her reflection in the mirror. Just thinking of the look on her face threatens to make me hard and it definitely distracts me.
"You good, Boss?" Vuk asks, and I snap out of it and look up at the target house. Yet another tip that Lebedev would be within reach, but this time, I'm not taking chances. We're gonna sit on this house from every angle for a few minutes while I, myself,watch the activity. If he's in there, I want to know. I won't risk walking into a trap again. I'm lucky I made it out alive last time.
"Yeah, you ready?" I pull my gun from its holster and check the clip to make sure it's full. Fifteen rounds should be more than enough if Andrei's actually inside.
Vuk nods at me, and I look to the northwest corner where Nenad is posted. Jovan is around back to watch the rear, and I'm ready to give the signal to go when my phone buzzes. Yuri's name flashes on the screen as I pull it out, so I know I have to take it. I hold up my hand to signal the men to wait a second, then step away to take the call.
"Yeah, Boss," I say quietly. We have to keep a low profile and not draw attention today. With Miloš's men anywhere, it's possible this is a setup too. If so, we need to get in and out clean, and letting people know we're here because we're talking too loudly is a bad idea.
"Where are you?" Yuri sounds tense.
"About to move on Lebedev." I watch Nenad crouch down as I continue. "If this pans out, I'll have him by tonight."
"And if it doesn't?"
"Then I'm going after Miloš." I say the politician's name like a curse. "That fucker's been protecting the target for way too long and it's time we take him out.
"Miloš is dangerous," Yuri rumbles, and I hear the hint of warning.
"Yeah, well I'm dangerous too. You know?" My jaw tightens as I stare off at the back of the house, looking for any sign that Jovanis doing his job. I hope the fact that I can't see him means he's paying attention.
"Do what you need to do. Update me when it's done," Yuri says, though I know despite his casual tone, he's more anxious to get this moving than I am. It's his son I'm avenging, after all.
"You'll be the first call I make, Boss," I say before hanging up.
