“And it’s not charity,” Raisa said. “He’s the father of your child. He is merely providing for you.”
I frowned. “But I don’t have anything to contribute.”
Sadie gave me a look like she thought I had two heads. “What? You’re doingallthe work!”
“It’s not likehecan carry that baby for ten months or go through delivery,” Raisa teased.
“I know, but…”
Gabriella was quick to read me, though. “But you hadn’t imagined your only role would be to have a child and endure giving birth.”
I sighed. “Actually, no. For fourteen years, that was literally all I was expected to do. That this was all I would be used for.” Before they could argue with me, I held my hand up. “I know Alexsei isnotusing me for this baby. It was an accident, and while it’s happening so soon after I escaped and could be free, it’s a blessing in disguise, one I hadn’t realized I’d wanted so badly.”
“Then what are you getting at?” Sadie asked.
“Whenever I thought about escaping and having a life of my own, I avoided thinking about being pregnant. As in I’d avoid that ‘fate’. I would imagine that I’d have a job. I’d earn paychecks. I’d have the ability to pick my home and decorate it with things I liked.”
“Which is why I bet Alexsei was talking with Emil about house hunting soon,” Sadie said with a sly smile. “That man is so smitten with you that he’ll buy you any house you want and give you unlimited funds to do what you want with it.”
I smiled, loving the thrill of that adventure with him and Misha. Tomakeour home together.
“But you still wanted a different purpose,” Gabriella said.
“Yeah. While I was being so stupid and stubborn to avoid Alexsei for the last couple of months, I was trying to figure out how I could take classes online to get a diploma. Maybe a degree.”
“I’ll help you with that,” Raisa said. She admitted that she’d started taking classes to get a degree too, just because she wanted one.
“But you have Lev. And another baby on the way,” I said.
She shrugged. “And we’ve also got a big family here, with plenty who want to help. Gabriella took a long time to hire a nanny, but that’s an option too.”
“No. I want to raise my baby on my own,” I argued.
They all smiled and replied in a chorus of, “Same.”
“We can help you start up a program to take classes,” Raisa said.
“And if you still want to preoccupy yourself past that, you can work with us on the women’s foundation.” Gabriella nodded once, as if that settled it.
There was so much to settle and decide. While it was a slow progress, I valued how I had a say in every step of the way. Even in moving into Alexsei’s wing, my preferences were considered.
Another thing that changed my attitude about ever being controlled was when Gabriella asked me to work out with her. After a checkup with the ob-gyn, whom I had a total choice of, she suggested working out with me in the gym. That led to her showing me the dance studio Luka had built for her. Dance wasn’t my strength, but she opened the doors for me to exercise. To take charge of my fitness and health. It seemed like such a little thing, but watching my progress of getting stronger was a huge boost to my confidence.
On top of that, Sadie took it upon herself to ramp up the self-defense work. She was pregnant and limited in what she could demonstrate, and I was cautious about my baby, too. The most logical step, according to her, was to show me how to shoot.
In a private shooting range in the basement, Sadie and a couple of Dubinin soldiers showed me how to handle guns.
Alexsei was alarmed at first. Yet, he didn’t try to stop me. I was well aware of how strongly he wanted me to have control of my life.
When Luka came down to supervise as well, he lightened up.
“Your elbow,” Luka coached.
I nodded, trying to remember all the tips about proper stance.
“Here.” The older man stepped up and personally walked me through holding a gun.
All his tips helped immensely, and I realized that I was probably a member of a very small club, the people who were coached and taught by one of the most ruthless Mafia bosses on earth.
