Luka growled slightly, coming to stand in front of me. “You did not.”
I scowled at him.
“You did not almost lose her,” he repeated. “It was notyourfault that any of this happened.” He gritted his teeth. “If it is anyone’s fault, it is mine for hiring those two lying motherfucking scumbags who thought it’d be fun to sell intel to those fucking Italians.”
Shaking my head quickly, I tried to figure out how to make him see the truth.
But he wasn’t having it.
“No, Alexsei. You cannot take the blame for this. You arenotto blame. You were cautious. You were prepared. You didn’t make any mistakes in this assignment, and there was no way you could’ve anticipated those motherfuckers turning traitors like that.”
Emil scooted forward on his seat, resting his elbows on his thighs. “Alexsei, this isn’t like it was with Elena.”
I closed my eyes and knew it was. I was fated to lose everything good in my life, every woman I wanted to love and call my own.
“It’s not,” Ivan said, hearing me out but also backing up the others. “You made mistakes then, and ever since, you’ve triple-checked every mission you’ve taken on. You do not slack in protective services. What happened tonight wasn’t your fault and it was beyond your control. Beyond any of our control.”
I knew they were speaking facts, but it couldn’t sink into my mind.
“You didn’t lose her,” Luka said sternly, eyeing me like the ruthless boss he was. “And you will not lose her should you want to keep her as the woman you care about.”
That was a moot point now.
She hated me. I saw it in her eyes.
Ihadfailed her. My cousins and uncle were correct that I’d gotten her out of there alive, but I'd grossly failed her with the sacred vow I’d given her to always know she’d be safe with me.
“And mark my words, those stupid pieces of shit will feel the full extent of my wrath. For killing my guards? Threatening my family?” He cursed some more as he went to pour himself a drink. “This won’t be the end of it. They will feel every fucking ounce of my revenge when I’m through with them.”
Even though they meant to reassure me, their words were nothing but flimsy, placating excuses.
The next day, I checked on Kalina, hovering at the doorway.
Misha had slept in her room, cuddling up with her on the bed.
And again, she gave me that hateful glower. The stare of disappointment.
My heart cracked again.
Every day, I came to check on her from the doorway, never any further, and I saw the same hatred that I deserved.
When a week passed and she hadn’t approached me with any words at all, I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I was a walking mess of a destroyed man. Emil and Ivan tried to “talk sense” into me. Gabriella and Sadie more or less shrugged it off, perhaps siding with Kalina to not want to be near me. Raisa insisted that I just talk to Kalina and figure this out.
But I was too broken. Too racked with guilt.
She’d shattered my heart with her reaction to waking up here again, but with her telling Misha that she would stay, I knew that I couldn’t abandon her now. I could not leave her and give up on her despite her iciness toward me.
Perhaps it was stupid. Maybe I had gone insane, but I resolved to stay. The hope that she might one day trust me again was all that kept me going, to linger and long for her forgiveness in almost getting her taken or killed.
No matter how much she loathed me, nothing would’ve pulled me away from her.
Not when that fire and attack on the cabin left a sour aftertaste in my mouth. If that was any indication, danger was still lurking too close for comfort. Luka vowed to seek revenge and retaliate. He’d make good on his word to have the Riveras pay for this incident.
I had more layers of responsibility that I owed Kalina, though.
Erik and Yusef were still out there. For all we knew, they might’ve arranged for her to be sold to other families, too.
No, there wasn’t a chance in hell I could walk away now.
