He lifted it and aimed it at Misha, and my heart leaped wildly in my chest.
“No!” I grabbed the boy and yanked him away. Shoving him behind me, to block him from the end of that gun barrel, I stood between Misha and the man.
“Found her!” he shouted out.
There was more than one. It wasn’t just him I had to fear.
Instead of aiming the gun at me, he slid it in his hand and raised his arm. “Now, you, we need to keep alive.”
“No!” I cowered. Being here in this bliss with Alexsei and Misha had tricked me into lowering my guard. I thought it was safe here. I believed Alexsei when he swore to protect me, that it was what he did. His job. To keep me safe because he cared about me.
Lulled with this illusion of safety, I was too slow to react. Too sluggish to move. Lifting my arm to deflect his hit, I was late to be effective in protecting myself.
He struck me, issuing a blinding ache in my head. Stumbling back, I curled my fingers into the soft fabric of Misha’s pajama sleeve. But nothing could stop my fall. I dropped, praying I didn’t hurt the boy and squish him. I fell, going dizzy under the darkness spreading over me.
That hit addled my mind.
I slumped, heartbroken that I couldn’t fight back and protect this innocent child.
Under the smoke that challenged the labor of breathing and the instant dizziness from that hit, I struggled to stay awake.
You promised.
You told me that you cared.
That you would always keep me safe…
Shouts and gunfire filled the air. As I fought to stay conscious, everything blurred in a flash of too many details for me to follow. Tugs on my arm convinced me that I was moving. Misha’s panicked little voice floated like he was so far away.
“… Panic…”
“I’m going to save you….”
“We’re almost there…”
“…Kalina… don’t die and…”
Then the sounds of the boy’s voice were gone.
Only the nothingness of sleeping filled me. Inside and out, I was thrust into a shell and numbness again. Not one of a defense mechanism, but as a reaction to being knocked out from a hard hit to the head and the overwhelming smoke filling the cabin.
Darkness swept in.
And I was trapped and captive to heed the pressure of doing nothing.
Of being unable to move or think at all.
I wasn’t free.
As I strained to stay with it, I wasn’t even sure if I would stay alive.
21
ALEXSEI
Earlier that day, Kalina and I ended up sitting on the couch together. We were careful not to show too much intimacy, or any at all, and we weren’t. She was trying to do a crossword puzzle and I was on my phone, reading through the updates that the men sent me.
I must have tired her out too much the night before, though, because she fell asleep. Napping peacefully, she rested against me, as if it could’ve been one of the most natural things to do. She had that much trust in me to rest her head on my shoulder.
