“I still wonder if she would benefit from psychiatrist’s help. Therapy. Things she’d be able to get here in the city,” Sadie said.
She wasn’t pushing the issue, but I knew she said it out of the kindness of her heart. As the professional she used to be as an agent. And I wasn’t so closed-minded to argue that Kalina wouldn’t benefit from help she could obtain if she wasn’t out here in the wilderness upstate.
“It’s been one day,” I said slowly.
“Yeah, I don’t think rushing anything will help,” Emil said. “Even Raisa understands that.”
“A little more time,” Sadie agreed.
“Besides, there isn’t any chatter about Erik or Yusef looking for her,” my cousin added.
That was a good sign, indeed. I promised to check in often with them, and they wished me luck.
The three of us settled into something like a routine, and I hoped that keeping things on a slight schedule would be a way for her not to have to worry about unpredictable surprises.
I made breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Misha would read or do puzzles. I’d check in with my cousins and Simon on my phone.
And Kalina would sit there at the window, staring out, but aware of my son near her.
Every night, also like clockwork, Kalina would cry out in her sleep.
I had deliberately chosen to have her room next to mine but for Misha’s room to be across the cabin. Because from the footageI’d viewed when she was at Luka’s mansion, I knew she had a habit of waking in the middle of the night. Every night.
Startled, scared, and panicky.
I didn’t want to subject my son to that and make him worry, too.
Or get scared.
Each time that Kalina woke and cried out, whether it was a sob, shriek, or a shout of an incoherent burst of words that I couldn’t follow, it yanked me out of sleep. That was how attuned I was to her. It was like having a new, feral being in the house, too skittish and prone to making sudden noises.
I’d rush out of bed to help her. Conscious of the need for distance, though, I wouldn’t enter her room. All I would do was open the door that was always cracked ajar a bit. I’d stand there, just so she could see that I was there. So she could witness that she wasn’t alone.
I meant it when I told her that I would watch over her. It seemed that letting her view me was comfort enough because she always calmed back down. No words needed to be said. If I were to step further into her room, it would probably do more damage.
It was, however, part of the routine. I was prepared to rush to her door every time as a tangible reminder that she was protected here. I hoped it was a solid step forward.
The following night, when she woke with a cry, I blinked my eyes open and swung my legs over the edge of my bed.
The rush of footsteps outside my room had me pausing. I, too, left my door cracked open. In case Misha needed me. In case of an emergency. Anything.
I furrowed my brow at the sound of Misha rushing toward Kalina’s room.
Dammit.
I didn’t want him scared about her crying out. I had to protect his innocence the best that I could.
Yet, I waited it out. I stood, quietly, and listened.
He’d beat me to it, hurrying to her room, but he didn’t stop at the door. It sounded like he’d gone all the way inside.
“It’s okay, Miss Kalina,” he told her. The concern in his voice made me so proud. He wasn’t afraid to help. He was brave to be a friend, compassionate to care.
“I get bad dreams too.”
Leaning against the doorframe, I crossed my arms and listened. Mishausedto have bad dreams, but he seemed to have outgrown them.
“I sit up like this.” Squeaks sounded, as if he were sitting on the bed. The sounds of her panting hadn’t faded yet. “Then I rub my arms like this. Like giving myself a hug.”
