“We’re going to the cabin?” Misha asked excitedly when I told him the news. He practically bounced on my bed, where I was starting to pack. Lev groaned, flopping down on his back next to him.
“No fair. I wanna come too!” Lev sat back up, pouting.
“Another time,” I said. Misha conned his way into coming this time, but I wasn’t going to subject Kalina to two rowdy boys romping around. It wasn’t the only cabin we owned, despite Misha calling itthecabin. He said it in a general sense.
“Will the lady like it?” Misha asked.
“She has a name,” I reminded him curtly. “Kalina.”
He nodded, smiling widely, too excited about being able to get away with me.
“And I don’t know if she will like it. She’s getting through some difficult times and maybe the change of scenery will be good for her.” I pointed at him, trying to be as stern as possible. “You are coming along only if you agree to be quiet and not bother her.”
“I will.” He mimed zipping his lips. “I’ll be super good and quiet.” A huge smile lifted his lips, as if he needed to encourage me not to reconsider his coming with us.
Misha was a well-behaved child. I knew he was. But the closer we got to leaving to fly upstate, I had to wonder how this would go.
If this would work for Kalina’s recovery.
If this would end up being a huge setback.
Time would tell, but the one thing I was confident about was my determination not to let her down. I would keep her safe, regardless of where we were in the world.
It was expected of me, a duty to fulfill. And it was becoming something more, like a personal mission, one born of redemption and forgiveness for myself in paying it forward in some way for how I’d failed Elena.
10
KALINA
The following morning, the maids deviated from the routine. One brought me breakfast. That wasn’t a surprise. But another one came with many options of clothing.
I didn’t speak to them. I didn’t react, only able to watch and observe.
I listened, cautious as the chatty woman carried on. Maybe she was someone who simply liked the sound of her voice. Or she was awkward with the one-sided nature of this conversation. But on and on she went, laying out the pants, sweaters, shoes, and boots. Underthings were supplied too. Almost as if she were playing dress-up with an inanimate doll, she matched tops and bottoms with boots to show them to me for approval before folding them and putting them in a suitcase.
He meant it.
Alexsei wasn’t bluffing when he said he was going to relocate me.
Knowing he was a man of his word, that he didn’t change his plans or intentions, started to scare me. I was sick of others, of men, dictating my life. But when I recalled how Misha, that young boy, begged to come along, I wanted to relax.
Misha might be an ally. If he was with me, he would either be a witness to any punishment Alexsei would dole out on me or he would be a defender. As I ate and the chatty maid packed the clothes, I wondered if my assumption was true.
Misha was just a boy. He was smaller than me, and something instinctive in my heart argued that if any violence, any punishment, was coming toward us,Iwouldn’t hesitate to protecthim. It didn’t matter that I was a victim, that my bruises were still healing from a beating. I wouldn’t wish that kind of pain on an innocent young boy.
According to him, Alexsei would be present to protect us, not that we’d need protection from him. I wasn’t born yesterday, though. That dynamic could very well shift in the blink of an eye. I wasn’t sure I’d ever trust a man for the rest of my life.
With that nervous mindset, I was skittish and sluggish to get dressed. Every movement I made felt like a risk, like I wasn’t being small enough, careful enough. While I hadn’t picked the clothes that were brought in, I had the chance to choose which of them I would wear. That freedom to make a decision felt… surreal, distracting me from the enormity of being moved again.
When Misha and Alexsei came to my room to walk me toward the exit of wherever I was, I focused on simply breathing. On putting one foot in front of the other.
Maids and other members of the house staff flitted around in the background outside the room I’d been kept in. I was right, too,about the carpet in the hallway being thick and plush, muffling the sounds of people walking. It was nothing like the barebones, crummy hovels Erik chose. Not filthy and dark with broken lights. No foul odors or weird sounds from other apartments full of domestic violence.
Was I allowed to look? To see what it was like?
I didn’t know where I was, this place where Raisa lived. It looked like a hotel. A fancy home. All I sensed was that it was so far from anything my brother ever stayed in that it seemed like a dream. Like I’d entered a whole other world.
One woman dusted a side table. A man carried a basket of linens. Guards, the same ones who came into my room with the nurses and maids, stood in the periphery as I followed Alexsei down the long hall. Misha smiled up at me, at my side instead of leading me.
