We were a family.
One thing I feared I’d never have again.
Threading through the crowd, I sought the closest guestroom to quietly nurse my daughter in. The darkness was a sharp contrast to the commotion and festivity out in the great room, but it was welcome. A small fire burned in the fireplace. A miniature Christmas tree sat on a side table. Evelyn’s eyesight wasn’t that developed yet, but she did seem slightly interested in lights.
Once I sat and nursed her, I mused that she was stillmostlyinterested in this.
I rocked in the chair and sighed as I fed her, wondering how long she’d want to nurse this time. It had seemed like such a huge thing to bring her upstate when she was still so little, but I didn’t need to stress about it. Like always, I had plenty of help, and I was getting better at asking for it when I needed it too.
It would’ve been a shame not to come out here for the inaugural holidays. Alexsei, Misha, and I had followed the construction of this cabin with glee all year.
To replace the cabin that had been burned down, we found another plot of land to develop. It began as a cabin, smaller and cozy, but then we realized how good it would be to have more guest space, and then some more.
Even though my escape happened in the winter and I’d almost lost my life due to that, I was especially fond of the winter months. Misha loved playing in the snow. Alexsei admitted it was his favorite season too.
It just made sense for us to have a place out here away from the city like this. Because we always wanted the option to have our family around, our cabin turned into more of a lodge.
“Knock, knock.” Gabriella entered the room, holding baby Gracie.
“Your turn too?” I asked as I burped Evelyn, who had finished and was just about to doze off, already milk drunk.
She shook her head. “She’s not hungry. I think we just needed some quiet.” With a smile, she sat in the other rocking chair on the other side of the fireplace. “Andre wasn’t quiet about his turn to sit on Santa’s lap.”
“Did Emil sneak in a lump of coal in his gift bag like he warned he would?” I asked.
She shook his head. “No.”
“Andre has been getting more adjusted,” I commented.
She agreed, yawning and nodding as she rocked her baby. “When we got to the airport and Gracie was fussy, he asked me if I ‘had’ to have another baby anytime soon.”
I laughed lightly.
She grinned.
“What’d you tell him?”
“I said I didn’t know, but I bet it’d be a while.”
“Hmmm.” I nodded in agreement. “I sure learned my lesson,” I admitted.
She laughed. “Me too.”
Even though we’d both welcome more children, we chose to use protection too. She admitted over a girls’ night that she told Luka he couldn’t come near her without a condom and that was final. I laughed and said the same.
I wasn’t being bred. Neither was she. But babies were a lot and even if we were lucky to be so provided for with this Dubinin wealth, having children so close together took a toll on a woman’s body. Luka hadn’t protested. Alexsei didn’t either. We were all granted the freedom to decide what we wanted out of our lives despite the stereotypes of being Mafia women.
“Do you think we’ll need to start looking for help ahead of time?” I asked her. “At the office?”
Gabriella seemed pensive. “Maybe, maybe not. Our internship program seems so promising so far, but I might feel more confident about outsourcing to have someone with more experience. I have a strong feeling Andre is going to want to commit to karate and swimming more, to start competing, and I’ll be like a soccer mom, also going to practices and meets.”
He was so young, but his discovery of those two sports sure had calmed him down.
The women’s foundation Gabriella and Raisa started was expanding and growing more than any of us could’ve imagined. Sadie helped too, but she was also more hands-on working with Emil and Simon. Giving her expertise and background, she was better to help with the guys on assignments and hits than with us.
I fit in perfectly, either at the office downtown or working from home. I was an executive, but that never meant I had to give up on getting my education. Or being a mother. Or a wife.
Once I got through my first year of courses, I realized that I was drawn more to the sciences. It would take me time, but I was already starting to plot out a plan and agenda to obtain a degree in ecology. Birds were still my focus. I’d escaped with the belief that they were guiding me, encouraging me, and I’d never lost the fascination with the elegant animals.
