“Yeah.”He sat in one of the waiting room chairs.“If someone took the risk to silence one of their own while they were being questions by the Department of Homeland Security they’re protecting something big.”
“How did a trafficking organization get their sights on Ivy?”Red sat across from him and rested his heavily inked forearms on his legs.
“Ivy walked into something that she shouldn’t have.Her discovery has given us a possible lead into a potential child trafficking ring.”He’d never forget finding her in the forest or her bravado when she armed herself with a skillet.Then the pain of her sacrifice to help him get away from the landslide.
“Holy shit.”Red leaned back, his hands now braced on his knees.“Is that why her apartment got trashed?”
“Yeah.They got ahold of her identification.”How could Jude have thought that he alone could keep her safe?That he could build a life with her?After one loss after another, his family, numerous SEAL teammates, how did he reconcile with the fact that everything he held dear was eventually torn from him?
“And you think the same group is responsible for your agent getting shot?”Iron asked.
Jude nodded and massaged the back of his neck.It seemed like days and not hours ago that he was in the hot tub exploring Ivy’s gorgeous body.That was over for him.He was a fucking idiot for thinking he could keep her.“One of the men who shot at Ivy was brought in for questioning.He was eager to talk and provide information about the organization and their plans.Jon was one of the agents interviewing him, and that’s when he got shot.”
“How the fuck did someone get into the building?”Iron shook his head.
“They didn’t.”Jude pinched the bridge of his nose.A headache was brewing behind his eyes.“Looks like a sniper positioned himself on an adjacent building and took out the man talking.”
“You think Jon might’ve been collateral damage?”Sully asked.
“Or they wanted to erase whatever he’d heard.Although, anyone with knowledge of law enforcement would know that the interview was being recorded.”
“What now?”Red smoothed one hand down his long beard.
“He’s going to pull through,” Jude said.“Until we can neutralize the threat, Ivy is staying with me.”It was going to be pure fucking torture to have her in his space and not be able to touch her.Hold her.“I need to keep her safe.I also want to keep an eye on her brother, Ash, and his girlfriend, Jess.Jess’s condo offers good protection, and I have two security details on the building.”
“And what about you and Ivy?”Iron leaned back in the waiting room chair, looking Jude over.
“I don’t know,” Jude lied.Each man in the room with him had fallen hard and fast.They’d made space in their lives for strong, sweet women.He just didn’t think he was the type of person who could have that.
“Come on,” Red said.“You were there when we met our women.”
Sully angled his body toward Jude.“Tell us what’s going on.We’ve been worried about you for a while now.”
“The past year you’ve been pulling away from everyone.”Red pushed to the edge of his chair and once again rested his elbows on his knees, giving Jude a hard stare.
“Been drinking more,” Iron interjected.“And you know I’m an addict, so there’s no judgment from where I’m sitting.I get the doubts, the guilt.Of needing to do something, anything, to get all those voices to stop.When I met Vivienne, I thought there was no fucking way a man like me could or should be with a woman like her.She was younger.Kinder.Had barely experienced the world.I made decisions about our relationship before it even started.In trying to give her the choices she never had, I also took them away from her.Made her feel unwanted, but fuck if I didn’t love that woman from the first moment I saw her.”
“This is different.”Jude’s agitation was clear in his tone.
“How?”Sully interjected.
“I’m going to hurt her,” he said, not sure how to make them to understand.“I told her I would try to push her away.I already feel myself closing off.She doesn’t belong in my world.You know how depraved it is.Working day in and day out with the worst humanity has to offer.”
“Without men like you,” Red growled, “those criminals would get away with what they do, and good innocent people like Ivy and her family, like our women, wouldn’t be safe.”
“It’s because of people like you, Jude,” Iron said leaning closer and putting his hand on Jude’s shoulder.“That others can sleep at night.That others have no fucking clue what goes on just beneath the surface of society.”
Jude placed his forearms on his legs and hung his head.“I just don’t want her to get hurt because of me.”
“We all get that.”The weight of Sully’s hand clapped Jude’s back.
“We all wanted our women to have something better than the likes of us, but the thing is, none of us can make that choice for them,” Red said quietly.
“I have spent my entire life trying to keep my distance.”Jude shook his head, focusing on the carpet beneath his feet.“I don’t want to get close only to lose her.”
“Bad shit happens,” Iron agreed.“It’s hard to separate what we’ve seen on the job from what we have when we come home.Honestly, though?You might not want to admit it, but you’re already close to her.Nothing is going to change that.You’re probably questioning your feelings as we speak.Thinking of all the reasons that it’s too fast.About the circumstances in which you met.None of it matters, Jude, because part of you knows you already love her.”
“You deserve peace, too, Jude,” Red said.Jude straightened slowly and considered the men around him.They’d each been through fucked-up situations, but somehow, they now seemed whole.He knew they most likely still struggled, but how were they able to move past all the shit they’d witnessed?
