“We weren’t,” Violet replied. “But I’m serious about the shirtless thing. You were rocking out extra hard last night. You’re fuckingshreddedbro.”
“Is this opinion shared by everyone?” Milo asked, his arm still draped over my shoulder.
I slid a hand around his waist and said, “You looked good. Nobody can deny it.”
“I can deny it,” Cash said dryly.
Milo flipped him off without looking. “Well if the fine ladies of the Cherry Midnight Tour Bus To Hell think so, then I’ll go shirtless again at our next stop. Detroit, right?”
“Right,” Cash said. “It’ll be nice to get that one over with and move on.”
He boarded the bus, and Violet followed. When they were gone, Milo removed his arm from my shoulder and said, “Detroit’s a sore subject. Might want to give him a wide berth until we’re past his hometown.”
We boarded the bus and then began driving back to the United States. But while the band discussed the setlist for Detroit, I retired to my bunk and closed the privacy curtain so I could be alone with my thoughts.
First and foremost, I was intensely embarrassed that everyone knew Riot and I were fucking. I didn’t really mind Violet knowing, because she seemed cool with everything overall, but Cash and Milo? What did they think about it? Had they been judging me this whole time behind my back?
That concern faded as I considered the other piece of information Violet had revealed.
They used to share her.
I’d heard the termpolyculebefore, but I Googled it anyway. It was a combination of the words “polyamory” and “molecule,” to describe how multiple people could connect in a romantic relationship. I never thought it was a real thing, though.
Yet the four of them had done it formonths.
It was impossible not to picture them together in a hotel room, clothes discarded and bodies glistening with sweat. The images that bombarded me were intense and pornographic. I didn’t even know if they were accurate; Violet had said they shared her,but that didn’t mean at the same time. Maybe she took turns with them, sleeping with a different bandmate every night.
I shook my head. These people were my friends, now. Today was October 10, and I’d been touring with them for just over a month. I shouldn’t think of them like this.
But I couldn’t get the idea out of my head. When I left my bunk and rejoined everyone at the front of the bus while we sat in traffic, the four of them together was all I could think about. Even when I put headphones on and focused on my art, I kept staring off at nothing and thinking about it.
At one point, I caught Violet watching me. She smiled, then went back to scrolling on her phone.
She had acted like it was an accident, that she didn’t really mean to reveal that secret to me. But I began wondering if she had an ulterior motive.
Did she want me to… do what she had done? Was she planting the idea like a seed in the hopes that it would grow?
That was definitely the kind of thing a groupie did. Sleeping with the whole band. Well, maybe not the whole band—I definitely had no interest in Violet beyond friendship. That was a firm certainty.
But that only made me realize that Cash and Milo weren’t off the table.
I liked them both. They were very likable men, even putting aside the fact that they were sexy rock stars. Milo always made me laugh, and Cash and I had a deeper intellectual connection that went way beyond anything physical.
Did that mean I wanted to sleep with them?
I honestly wasn’t sure how I felt about it. Which was a crazy realization on its own.
Halfway to Detroit, we took a quick break at a rest stop. I grabbed a coffee from the convenience store just as Milo was walking out with a can of Pringles.
“Hey, can I ask you something?”
“Eight inches,” he replied without hesitation. “Softandhard. I’m a show-er, not a grow-er.”
I laughed at the unexpected joke, then said, “How long have you known?”
“Weird question. I guess I’ve known since I was old enough to get hard-ons.” He grinned at me and added, “Sorry. I know what you mean, I’m just avoiding answering. You’re asking how long have I known about you and Riot?”
With a grimace, I said, “Yeah.”
