When my voice goes cracked and the crowds fade away,
When the amps go silent and the skies turn gray,
I’ll still find you in the quiet and the truth,
Every melody leads me right back to you.
He pointed his guitar pick down at Roxie.
Let the whole damn world try to take what’s mine,
They can’t still the spark you’ve left in my spine,
You’re the reason these broken chords still choose…
You, Roxie. It’s all for you.
Yeah! You’re my muse in the flame, my beautiful fire!
My last dying breath and my only desire!
Your love’s tattooed under my skin!
Where you end baby, that’s where I begin!
You’re the song I’ll play forever!
Through the fall and bleeding weather!
When they carve my name in the rock and roll blues,
It’ll say I lived only… for my forever muse.
Cash and I screamed and cheered as loud as anyone in the bar. Riot seemed to hear none of it. His eyes were locked onto Roxie as he unslung his guitar and let it fall heavily to the floor, then hopped off the stage.
“Come on,” I said, pulling Cash toward the front.
People in the crowd started recognizing us as we moved closer. One woman grabbed my arm and showed me the Cherry Midnight tattoo on her cleavage, and begged me to sign it. But I smiled and waved her off while making my way to the woman I loved.
Because it was true. Ididlove Roxie. I loved her with a passion that I’d never allowed myself to feel in my life, a life full of abandonment and disappointment. I’d guarded my heart up tothis point, shielding myself with laughter and jokes, never taking anything too seriously—because that’s how you got hurt.
Roxie had pierced that armor. She’d shown me that if I opened up and allowed myself to be vulnerable, I could have something amazing. Something worth maybe getting hurt for.
That’s what love was. And for the first time in my life, I knew it.
And when I glanced at Cash? I saw the same look in his eyes, too.
49
Roxie
Everyone knew about the fight-or-flight response. Generally, I chose flight. I ran away from my problems rather than face them. Honestly, that’s probably why I agreed to come on this tour in the first place: to flee my life, my responsibilities, and everything else in the real world.
But there was a third option that rarely got mentioned: freeze.
That’s the response that took over when Riot Kane’s name was called and he strode onto the tiny dive bar stage. I felt my entire body go numb, like I was frozen in a block of ice. It didn’t feel real. It was more like a dream, where random things happened out of context and nothing made sense.
Because it was insane that Riot Kane, the rock star that had just played in a massive arena up the street, was now playing by himself in this shitty little bar.
