“I didn’t know—”
My laughter continued. “I don’t have a preference, if that’s what you’re thinking. I enjoy playing mind games with my boss and his husband. The truth is I’ve had all kinds of dates over the last fifteen or so years. Mostly one-night stands or one-month affairs. Never serious and, as I said, none ever met Adele.”
“Ah.” He took another bite of cheesy goodness.
I eyed my burger. “I’ve been lonely, Jarrod. Plain and simple. Every day I’ve regretted taking off and not telling you. I thought you might try to follow me. Give up your dreams to help me deal with my nightmare.” Then I sighed. “No, Adele’s not a nightmare. Burying my sister and cleaning up the mess she left behind was. For the first few years, I felt like I was barely holding things together. Mom worked, I worked, we shared child-rearing duties. When Adele started kindergarten, I felt like I could breathe for the first time. By then—” I sighed. “Seemed a little late to pick up the phone to apologize.”
“Aside from the fact you would’ve found the number no longer in service?” He offered a smile. “I would’ve taken that phone call. Hell, I would’ve proudly introduced you to my parents. About the time you came up for air, my mama passed. So we were both at very different points in our lives.”
“You always wanted kids.” The words were out before I could check them.
“Yep. Never had any. And you didn’t want to be tied down by them.”
I winced. “Please don’t ever repeat that to Adele. I’ve worked every single day to make sure she knows I have no regrets about leaving my old life behind to care for her. And I don’t have any. Let’s be honest—I wasn’tthatgood of an actor. I wasn’t going to be a god of the stage or the silver screen.”
“Don’t sell yourself short. You were damn talented.”
“You were biased.”
“You got great reviews, Anderson. You had the potential. Maybe a little refinement was needed, but you had a real shot. Then you vanished.”
“I’ll never be able to apologize enough for that.”
“I accept your apology.”
“Just like that?”
“Just like that. I could’ve resented my mama for dying or be angry at my daddy for coercing me to stay on the farm. Instead, I decided I was going to be mature and deal with the disappointments by being the best goat farmer around.”
I blinked. “That’s it?”
He grinned. “Yep. Although as soon as Daddy passed, I started making improvements. Started expanding.”
“Hence the soaps.”
“Yep. Been working on those for quite some time. Now I think I’ve got it perfected.”
“I can’t wait to try them.”
“Well, you’ll have to let me know what you think.”
“Or you could come home with me and I’ll show you.” I bit into my burger.
His eyes went comically wide. “I thought you said—” He leaned in. “I thought you said you never brought guys home.”
I swallowed. “They didn’t mean anything to me.”
“And I do?”
“You mean everything to me. Nothing’s changed. I mean, I’ve grown up. And you’re not the same boy I remembered.”
He shook his head.
“But I still see we could do it, you know.” I nabbed forkful of salad. “For old time’s sake.”
“Right…” A grin grew across his face. “For old time’s sake. I like the sound of that.”
“Maybe we could take our dessert to go?”
