I don’t hesitate. “For the one thing that makes me feel alive.”
I don’t even bother to go home. With nothing more than the clothes on my back, I head to the airport and buy the first ticket I can: one way in economy. The flight to Montana lasts an eternity. I stare out the window at the clouds and think about every word Ididn’tsay to her. Every truth I held back because I was afraid it would pull me back into a life I wasn’t ready to face.
Idiot.
I wasn’t protecting her.
I was protecting myself.
When the plane comes to a stop on the tarmac, I race to pick up my rental truck. My heart pounding, I drive faster than I probably should toward the ranch. The gates come into view as the sun starts to rise. I tear down the drive, dust pluming behind me. I skid to a stop before the main house and jump from behind the driver’s seat without bothering to cut the engine. “Teagan!”
James steps out onto the porch and lets out a huff. “Well, I’ll be,” he mutters. “Took you long enough.”
“Where is she?” I ask.
He studies my face carefully. “She’s not here.”
My stomach drops. “What do you mean?”
“Rodeo finals,” he says. “Out of state. She left with Knox yesterday.”
The air leaves my lungs slowly.
“Where?”
“Cheyenne.”
It’s not a quick drive. Not something I can fix with a truck and a few hours.
“I need to get to her.”
He folds his arms. “Then get to her.”
I don’t hesitate, hopping back into the truck and racing toward the highway as I call the one person I know will help make this happen for me.
“Mason, I need a favor.”
There is a long pause on the end of the line, followed by a resigned, “How fast?”
“As fast as possible.”
It takes me about thirty minutes to reach Bozeman. My pulse is a constant thrum as I pull into the airport. As promised, a sleek private jet awaits me on the tarmac. I climb the steps without looking back. As the engines roar to life, I close my eyes.
“I’m coming, wildfire,” I murmur to the empty cabin.
Dear Rosie,
I’m writing this on borrowed paper from the flight attendant because I don’t have your journal. I wish I did so I could read the thoughts you kept hidden and understand all the pieces of you I never knew, as I prepare to offer mine to Teagan.
I love her.
I love her in ways I didn’t even know I could anymore. In ways I thought were lost the day I lost you. She sees me.Really sees me. Not the man the world knew, or even the one you did. She sees the parts that wereonly ever meant to be hers, the ones that grew from the wreckage of losing you.
I don’t know if she’ll forgive me. I don’t know if she’ll even look at me when I get to Cheyenne. And maybe I deserve that. Maybe she has every right not to forgive me. But I’ll spend the rest of my life walking onto her porch each night, if I have to, to apologize. To tell her I’m sorry I failed her. To tell her I love her.
I wish you could meet her. You would love her so much. I wish I could show you the way she makes me want to be better, and the way she forces me to confront who I am without the noise of the world in the way.
I hope you can forgive me for loving again, for letting her in, because she deserves it.Ideserve it. The truth is, the only way I can honor what we had is to live fully, and I know she’s going to push me to live a life that is so big, it’s terrifying.
