They sat on the same two stools that had started it all several hours earlier eating a hardy dinner. He’d actually cooked her some pasta with marinara sauce while she watched. Well, she couldn’t really take her eyes off of him. Nothing could have been sexier to her, than a barefoot, bare chested man, working in the kitchen. It was like her bucket list just got filled in less than an hour.
He poured them both a glass of wine and sat beside her while they ate. She was famished and finished her plate. He did the same.
“So, tell me Tammy. Did I fulfill your curiosity?” He took a sip from his wine glass.
She wanted to laugh out loud.Fulfill?He exceeded it, jumped over it in a single bound. She couldn’t meet his eyes, but instead stared at his beautiful thick chest. “Yes.” She knew if she did look at him that he’d see the love in her eyes. She would have to tell him about it sooner or later, but she just couldn’t at that moment.
“Any regrets about giving yourself to me?”
Her eyes met his. She saw concern and shook her head, “No. Never.”Oh my God, is he kidding? That was possibly the most incredible thing she ever experienced. She’d been fantasizing about this man since she first spotted him five years ago. Nothing could have prepared her for the tangled mess of passion they just endured. It was no wonder women fell all over him. He was a sexual God.
He watched her for a moment to see if she was telling the truth. After a moment he nodded, believing her. “Good. Now I think this is the best time to bring it up. I want you to tell me about Richard.”
She did meet his eyes this time. She felt heat rise to her cheeks. “No.”
He set his glass down and stared at her with determination. “I think I have a right to know what has made you so wary of a man’s touch. I need to make sure I don’t exacerbate that issue.”
“I don’t think that’s even remotely possible Lance.” She felt her face heat up in a blush.
“Only because I gave you control to do with what you wished. Only until you trusted me enough to take over. You know me as a man of integrity, that I would never hurt you, yet you were still frightened. You did wonder what it was like but your fear kept you from going the limit. After this, I will be more aggressive when it comes to sex. If you haven’t figured it out by now, I like being control. I don’t want to take it too far in a moment of passion and hurt you. I could never forgive myself if that happened.”
He was right. If he was the aggressor from the beginning until she felt that trust, she probably wouldn’t have spent the afternoon making love. “I don’t think I like how much you seem to read my mind.”
“I’d like to know.”
“If I leave it buried Lance, I’ll be fine.”
“It was traumatic, and you of all people, in your profession, know what that can do to someone. You know what it did to Elaina. If you don’t admit that, you are a hypocrite.”
She ground her teeth together and looked away. Again, he was right. Before she hesitated and changed her mind, she opened her mouth and the words started to pour out. “I was seventeen. Richard was twenty and home from college. He ended up getting me alone in my room.” Her eyes went back to him. “I don’t know what got into him. He was angry. He threw me down on the bed and tore most of my clothes off. He was drinking too. I could taste the whiskey on his breath when he kissed me. It was repulsive.”
“Jesus Tammy.”
“He kept saying I belonged to him and he was going to make sure I knew it. I told him no, but he didn’t seem to hear. I never thought he had that in him Lance.”
He reached over, took her hand and brought it to his mouth planting a kiss on the palm. “Well, honey, if you accepted what you looked like to the opposite sex, fueled by alcohol, I think I can see what got into him.”
She blushed again.
“However, that doesn’t make it right.”
“I know.”
“How did your parents handle him?”
She hesitated knowing that this would make him angry. He tilted his head in warning and she sighed. He wasn’t going to leave her be until she told him everything. “My mother told me to basically not embarrass the family and let people know what happened. That Richard was going to be my husband and I was just naïve.” His lips parted in a silent gasp but he never said anything. “My father and brother never knew.” Surprisingly he just nodded, but to his credit he kept his distaste and anger over that information to himself. Still, she knew Lance wouldn’t forget what she’d told him. When he finally spoke, his voice was calm and her respect for him grew. He was not adding to her stress over the past by giving his opinion over her mother’s reaction. She knew though, things would be a little different next time he met her mother or Richard. Hopefully that wouldn’t happen again.
“Seeing as though I was the first man you knew intimately, he didn’t get too far.”
She shook her head. “He didn’t. My mother came home unexpectedly and called for me. It seemed to pull him out of it. All in all, it was a horrible experience for a naïve teenager. I mean, my mother never told me anything. I wasn’t allowed close friends, so I really had no one to talk to. I honestly thought that intimacy was hurtful and ugly.”
He cocked a brow and she chuckled. “Is that so?”
She blushed. What they just experienced was far from that. “I meant until I got older, and saw how in love my friends were with their husbands. I also learned a lot nursing, but I still couldn’t get beyond that fear that it was going to be horrible. Some things stay with you when you’re young and vulnerable.”
“I won’t let him near you again.”
Her heart swelled with the promise. “I can handle him. I’m not seventeen anymore.”
