She seems nervous enough to pass out, and I have to wonder what reason she’d have to be up there. But then again, I don’t really have to wonder, do I? I know why she’s there and who encouraged her to be. Ralston’s smug smile says it all.
Dani lifts the mic to her lips. “Um. Hi. Um, th-thank you all for being here.” Her voice is smooth but tight. She’s not looking up from her notecards. “Today, we’ll be talking aboutmentorship through the feminist lens. In other words, what it means to guide, support, and build future leadership and the next generation of change-makers and doers.”
She glances over at Ralston, who is beaming at her as if she just cured world hunger. It’s triggering—that look on her face.
So familiar I’m almost sure it’s meant for me. So familiar I’m taken back to when it was.
I hate it, and I miss it, and I hate that too.
Because no matter how it looks to those who don’t know her well, it isn’t love in her eyes—it’s manipulation. Expectation.
Dani checks her notes. “Um, Professors, what would you say is most important when choosing a mentor or mentee?”
Everyone expects Ralston to go first. All eyes fall on her.
But she won’t. I know she won’t.
She’ll wait. Let Professor Bell say something perfectly fine, and then make sure she outshines her.
Predictably, she holds out a hand, gesturing for Professor Bell to take the lead. Bell tucks a piece of loose hair behind her ear and clasps her hands together. She’s not nervous at all, but not flashy either.
She could just be teaching a seminar. Talking on the phone.
“Well, in Gender Studies, my students know we often talk about the politics of voice, agency, and representation. For me, mentorship is deeply connected to those same concerns. I see the mentor-mentee relationship as a shared space of intellectual and personal exchange. We have to keep in mind the power dynamic of any relationship, especially an academic and professional one. It’s a sacred space where I try to model the values I teach—care, accountability, equity, and inclusion. I’ve learned that effective mentorship isn’t about shaping someone in your image but about helping them see the value of their own voice, especially when that voice challenges dominant narratives. Some of my most meaningful moments in academiahave come from mentoring students who helped me rethink my own assumptions. So, while mentorship as we think of it often begins with guidance, it should evolve into a deeper collaboration, and sometimes even mutual transformation.” She pauses, looking around, then casts a smile toward Dani with a shrug of her shoulder. “At least, that’s the model I try to live by.”
The audience claps, and she smiles, but there’s no hunger behind her eyes. Not like Ralston. Even now, I see her. Behind that smile, she’s licking her lips. Waiting to pounce.
Pure beast.
Once the crowd settles down, Ralston nods, eyes bright. She waits. Then, when we’re all waiting with bated breath, she leans forward.
“Lovely answer, Simone.” She pats her on the shoulder.Jesus, she actually pats the woman on the shoulder. As if she’s a child. As if she’s… “When I think about mentorship, I think aboutradical trust.I think about nurturing brilliance. Because, when you’re as busy as I am, I’m looking for brilliance in any mentee I may take on. And we all have it, we really do. We just have to tap in.” She touches her chest, the place where her heart should be. “And more than anything—I think about love. Love of what you do. Love of the message you want to put out. Love of the next generation. That’s the root of mentorship, at least in my book. It’s never labor if it’s love.”
The room rumbles with approval. Heads nod and pens scribble as if she’s just said something profound. Someone near me whispers, “God, she’s incredible, isn’t she?”
I can’t bear to look at her to see if she’s asking me.
I want to stand up and scream. To end this. Now.
Ralston taught me how to write, sure. But she also taught me how to disappear. She taught me that intimacy can be a weapon. Trust can be a weapon. She said I was the only one who got it—the only one worthy to carry on her legacy when the time came.
That was until I got too close.
Until I saw her for what she really was. Until I asked for her to follow through on all the promises she’d made.
Dani asks another question while I’m lost deep in my thoughts, something about balancing authority and care. I don’t really need to listen. Whatever Ralston says, it will be a lie. A meticulously planned, PR-approved statement that everyone in this room will eat up. Everyone but me.
She’ll probably say it’s not about authority or power, it’s about trust.
“I’ve always thought the most important part of any relationship is in the deep, unwavering trust you have with the person. If you have trust, you don’t need power. You’re equals. You both want what’s best for the other person. You both trust they want what’s best for you.”
I roll my eyes, ducking my head as the room erupts into more applause.
At this point she could recite the alphabet, and they’d cheer.
For the next forty-five minutes, I live out the nightmare. Watching the performance like it’s a play I know by heart. Dani beams, Bell nods along giving well-meaning but unrehearsed answers, and Ralston glows. The audience applauds every time Ralston so much as blinks. There’s laughter, whether or not she’s made a joke.
People love her so much I can taste the admiration in the air. I’m sick over it, my head fuzzy.
