"Yeah, but I need a nigga as my therapist. A black man who understands the plight of growing up how we did. You might need to sit on a couch, too."
"Nah, I'm good. Do what you gotta do to handle your demons. I got mine squared away."
As if she sensed I needed an out, Navy came out of the house. Wolfe and I crossed the short distance to the porch, and I grabbed Navy's hand to help her down the steps. She gave Wolfe a quick hug, then I dapped him up, letting him know I'd hit him later.
"How did the talk go?" Navy asked a few minutes into the drive home.
"Ready to talk about what caused your panic attack?"
"I said we'll talk about it later," she huffed.
"Then we gon' talk about my shit later too."
Navy Achebe
The city muddledpast my window as I drove. All noise. All motion. None of it seemed real. In my head, it was nothing more than background chatter to my thoughts. Later had come and gone more times than I could count, and Honor, I still haven't talked about what happened on Wolfe's porch. For the last week, we co-existed as if everything were fine. Honor still loved me like I was the sun keeping his world in orbit.
Honor was a man. A broken man, but a man nonetheless, and in today's society, men weren't given the space needed to shed themselves of their hardened masculinity. They weren't cared for in a way that made them feel safe enough to face the wounds they bandaged but never let heal. So, for that reason, I made it my job to love Honor in all the ways he needed. Healing those wounds so they didn't define him but instead became part of his story.
Still, I felt a shift. Something was off about us and had been off since Honor got shot.
The moment I walked into his hospital room and Chosyn introduced me as his sister, the energy between us changed. It wasn't anything he did, but everything about the confidence in Choyce's tone when she said it. It held no fear, no uncertainty.Just rightness as if she were well within her right to speak for a man who didn't belong to her.
It'd been years since I'd felt insecure when it came to Honor. Choyce, in that moment, dug those feelings up and tossed them right to me and they've been sitting heavily on my chest ever since.
"I told him not to let anyone in the room. Choyce and I were discussing business. I never meant you couldn't come in."
If I hadn't caught the way his gaze faltered for a split second, I would've believed him. The lie was small, but even the smallest of lies had their way of creating doubt.
As Gravehart Homes came into view, I let out a deep breath and pulled into the driveway. I cut the engine, grabbed my things, and pushed my door open.
"Wassup, Ms. Navy."
The sleep-induced voice greeting me as I stepped out of my car shouldn't have caught me off guard, but it did. Every morning I worked, Mekhi was on the stoop waiting for me. He'd been at Gravehart Homes since he was six and was now fourteen. I did my best not to play favorites with the kids here, but Mekhi was special in a way that was hard to ignore.
"How many times do I have to tell you that this can't keep happening, Mekhi? You should be sleeping. The sun's barely up."
"Come on, Ms. Navy, you know I feel at home with things that go bump in the night."
I frowned. Mekhi had no business knowing about the dangers that happened at night.
"I'm kidding." He chuckled. "You can preach I need sleep until your face turns blue. Any time I see your name on the schedule for these early mornings, I'ma be right here waiting. Who else gon' make sure you're safe if not me?" He took my purse and canvas bag out of my hands before I could argue.
"Such a gentleman." I smiled proudly. Just last year, Mekhi was scamming, and now it seemed like he was back on the right path.
"I try for those who deserve it," he stated.
"What do you mean?" I reached for the doorknob, but Mekhi knocked my hand away gently.
"You're really trying me this morning, Ms. Navy. You don't touch a door when I'm around."
"But your hands are full, Mekhi. I won't faint because I have to open a door."
"I don't care. I'm a man. I'll shuffle some stuff around to make it happen for you," he responded, and his answer shocked me.
"Who have you been talking to?" I asked.
"Wolfe," he answered.
