"Why would she come to you? If I'm about to slice and dice her, you'd be my last call."
"That's even more reason to call me before going to her," I stated. "She's still my sister, whether or not I like her."
"You don't even call her your sister."
I frowned. "So what. If you and I fall out, I'd still care enough not to want anything bad to happen to you. Choyce and I aren't in a great place, but she's still my little sister. I'm not about to let someone hurt her."
"Okay, but what are you gonna do? Beef with Navy over a sister you don't even know anymore?"
"Damn River, if you think I should say fuck my sister, then just say that."
"I'm not saying that. I'm saying I've heardyousay it one too many times for you to be upset about whatever Navy did to her."
I felt my temper spike and forced myself to breathe through it.
"You don't get it," I quietly muttered. "Regardless of what Choyce did, she'smysister. Protecting her has always been my job."
"Then protect her," River replied, softer now. "Just don't throw away a friendship because your sister started something she couldn't handle."
"I hear you, River." I sighed, letting my thoughts wander and half listening to River talk about whatever she and Crown had going on.
Everyone saw Choyce as the problem. I did too until she became a topic in my therapy sessions. Talking through my feelings made me realize I blamed her, so I didn't have to blame myself. Chance set us up for failure. If I had just done what he asked, Choyce might've been better off. Instead, I shot our father and watched her get thrown into a van. Finding her wasn't my priority. Survival was. I did whatever I had to just to see tomorrow become today. Choyce did the same, in her own way. What she did was fucked up, but I respected it. What I couldn't respect was how she did it. It didn't have to come to that with us. I would've done anything for her if she'd just asked. Instead, she got in my head, and that was harder to forgive.
"You know I talked to my niece for the first time yesterday," I mumbled.
River waited a moment, then asked, "How did that happen?"
"I guess Choyce gave her my number." I tilted my head back, and a humorless laugh slipped past my lips. "While I was talking to my niece, Navy was probably with Choyce. That might be why Cherish was texting me, so I could distract her from the shit that was?—"
"Don't do that," River gently urged. "Don't put that on youself, Chosyn. Whatever mess Choyce got herself into is hers to clean up, not yours."
"You say that, but somehow this shit still landed on my doorstep."
"It didn't land," River smacked. "Choyce brought it to you because she knew you'd do exactly what you're doing now."
I sucked my teeth. "What am I doing, River?"
"Beating yourself up because you couldn't save her last time. You think I don't see how being at odds with her weighs on you, even though we don't talk about it? Choyce is your sister, but you aremine. I'm not about to let you crash out without knowing all the facts. So, tell me what you wanna do, and I'ma make it happen."
"What's your pregnant self gonna do?" I giggled.
"Whatever I can to make sure you're okay. And whatever I can't do, I have a crazy ass fiancé who'll make it happen."
"Oh god! Please don't get Crown involved."
"Then tell me what you need."
"Honey's on her way over. Once I talk to her, I'ma go see Navy."
"Say less I'ma have Crown drop me off to you."
"Okay." I smiled. "Thank you, River."
"You never have to thank me for being what you need when Wolfe isn't around. I might not be obsessed with your ass like he is, but I love you all the same."
"I love you too."
River and I said our goodbyes, then hung up. I set my phone down and stared at it.
