"Exactly. That's why I can remember this one night so vividly. Talon came over. Lucian said he could spend the night. Talon was happy, so I was happy. Our relationship had become rocky once I moved out, but that night, we were getting along. Everything was great."
I got quiet as the memory tightened my chest.
"I went to bed while my mom and Talon stayed up. I don't know exactly what happened after that, but I woke up to loud noises. I rushed downstairs, and a masked man was choking my mom. Talon just stood there watching. I don't know if it was shock or fear, but he didn't move until the intruder died."
Honor's jaw flexed, barely noticeable, but enough for me to know he felt away.
"We called Lucian, and he made us all go to his house. I laid with my mother that night. It's also the last night I felt like my mother saw me as her daughter." I drummed my fingers lightly against the rim of my glass, letting the soft clinks settle my anxiety. "Because of what I did, I guess I started to look more like my father. Our relationship turned cold, but my relationship with my father… sparked. A week later, he brought me into his office and, with that same bitter smile, told me how proud he was of me for saving my mother."
"Talon should've been the one to handle that. You… you shouldn't have had to?—"
The room went quiet. Honor couldn't bring himself to say it.
"Lucian saw something in me after that. You were his favorite weapon, and I became the blade he sharpened in secret. He taught me how to listen to fear," I softly relayed.
Honor's eyes were fixed on me. His hands gripped the wine bottle a little tighter before he lifted the rim to his mouth and gulped.
"Choyce reminded me how easy it still is for me. How natural it feels to step back into that person, and that scares me, Honor. I don't want to be that person, but when I think about you and her… you and anyone, I feel myself turning into the person Lucian sharpened me to be."
"Is that the secret?" he murmured.
For a second, I thought about what it would do to Honor if I told him about the abortions. He was already slumped on the couch, shoulders tight, and eyes distant. His fingers fidgeted with the wine bottle, as if holding on was keeping him from breaking. I didn't want to pile on, so I traced my fingertip along the rim of my glass, letting the motion soothe me while keeping my composure. My eyes stayed locked on him, steady, hiding what I knew he wasn't ready to hear.
"Yes. I wanted you to know the power you have over me. You think you have to protect me from the world and shield me from the dark side of life, but I've already been there. What I did today wasn't about Choyce. It was about you. About how much power you have over me without demanding it. I don't want to be this person," I voiced, leaning back into the curve of the chaise. "But I will be if I feel like I'm losing you. So now you know exactly who you're with, Honor. And you get to decide if that's something you can live with."
Standing up, Honor placed the bottle on the coffee table, then came and stood in front of me.
"Honor, don't," I started, but it was pointless. He kneeled between my legs, resting his head against my womb as if he could feel the phantom kicks of his children.
"I hate you had to deal with that, but I hate even more that you kept it from me. Navy… you've been with me through some of my darkest times. What makes you think I'd shy away from yours?"
Honor kissed my lower stomach, then lifted his head and soothingly cupped my jaw.
"There's nothing you could do or have done that would make me walk away from you. When I say I'll die before I'd do life without you, I don't say it in jest. I say it so you’ll know how I feel. How deeply I care about you. How much I fucking need you."
Passion. Love. Urgency.
They brought the brown in his eyes to life.
"Navy," his voice softened, "I don't want Choyce."
I couldn't speak. A knot formed in my chest, and my fingers twitched against the glass, betraying the calm I was trying to convey. A shiver slid down my spine, and my eyes burned, threatening to spill tears I couldn't allow. I swallowed hard, letting the sting settle behind my jaw.
"You… you promise?" I whispered, my voice barely steady.
"I put it on my life. Nothing and no one can stop me from loving you… except death. Even then, I plan to haunt you, just to whisper I love you."
Tilting his head upward, Honor's lips smothered mine. Wine danced across our tongues as passion burned, and breaths were stolen. My fingers tangled in his short, soft curls, pulling him closer, memorizing the way they curved against my palm. I felt Honor's hands on my waist, lifting me. The glass in my hand slipped, shattering to the floor, wine spilling across the hardwood.
"Careful," he murmured, though there was no real caution in his voice. He carried me into the kitchen and set me on the counter. Without a word, he grabbed a paper towel, dampened it under the water, and pressed it gently to my face, wiping away Choyce's blood. His touch was careful, adoring. I leaned into it, letting the tension between us melt into something more urgent. Our foreheads touched, his lips ghosting over mine beforeclaiming them. The kitchen faded around us. Hands and mouths explored slow at first, then faster as desire broke free. Every touch, every slight tug grounded me, tethering the storm inside me to him.
Chosyn Gravehart
"Thank you for calling Mellow& Munch. This is Chosyn speaking."
"Chosyn I?—"
It didn't take much for me to recognize her voice.
