She’s close enough that I can feel her breath. She places her hand flat on my chest where my Aether Core pulses.
“This is going to sound completely insane. But can I see it?”
I jerk away from her and swim toward the shore. I’m feeling betrayed, because a part of me wants to say yes, wants to show her…
No. That is wrong. Deviant. I can’t want Jessa – or any other woman, for that matter – to see my cock.
“I’m sorry,” she calls out, swimming after me. “I shouldn’t have asked that. That was way too personal and inappropriate. I’m sorry, Castien.”
As she reaches the edge of the pool and starts to pull herself up, I turn and stop her with a raised hand.
“No. Please don’t get out just yet. Let me pull myself together. Let me...”
I turn my back to her, my wings spreading in agitation, and stand on the shore, trying to understand what’s happening to me.
Chapter Eleven
Jessa
I’m the most horrible person alive. Right now, I’m not sure I chose my career well, because how can I help people when I’m such a selfish, insensitive idiot?
I climb out of the pool and grab my towel, rubbing it over my body quickly while Castien stands with his back to me. Steam rises from him as he uses his internal heat to dry the water running down in rivulets over his perfect planes.
I feel guilty again, but who does that help?
I stuff the wet towel back into my backpack, getting everything inside properly soggy, then get dressed in a blur. I pull out an energy bar and my water bottle, realizing I’m both hungry and thirsty. Especially thirsty. A few drops slip down my chin as I drink. When I unwrap the energy bar, the wrapper sticks to my fingers and makes me groan in annoyance. Every little thing pissed me off, but I know it’s not the wrapper, nor the hunger, thirst, nor Castien’s attitude, for that matter. It’s me.
“I’m sorry,” I apologize again. “I overstepped. Can you ever forgive me?”
He turns and looks at me. His silver eyes meet mine.
“There’s nothing to forgive, Jessa. I am the problem.”
“You’re not–”
“We should continue.” He cuts me off and starts walking toward the exit without asking me if I’m ready to move on.
I bite my lip hard, grimacing. I really want to say more, but he’s not willing to hear me out. I should give him space. I follow him, resigned, but my mind is not on the mission anymore.
I think about what I just learned about him. First, he is definitely not just a machine. The fact that he doubts himself and questions what he is… that’s genuine human behavior. I don’tthink it’s programmed responses. That Aether Core of his truly acts like a real seat of consciousness, maybe even a soul.
Second, he’s a virgin. He’s never even touched himself. He has a fully functional cock, probably made of steel like the rest of him, and he’s never made himself come. That knowledge does something to me. My cheeks grow hot, and wetness pools between my legs.
Is it so wrong that I kind of want to corrupt him? Yes. Definitely wrong. He just explained how difficult it is for him to reconcile his anatomy with his values. Being with me – with any woman – goes against everything he stands for. And he’s clearly not interested. I haven’t seen a single piece of evidence that he might be attracted to me the way I’m attracted to him.
Well, except for a few minutes ago, when he asked me to give him a moment to compose himself. Maybe my nakedness does affect him. Or maybe he was just distressed by the horrible thing I asked him to do. Show me his cock. Who does that? What person in their right mind asks someone to show them their cock?
I groan and run my fingers through my damp hair, pulling harshly at the knots. I feel like banging my head against the cavern wall.
We arrive at a steep spiral staircase carved into the rock. The steps descend into darkness, worn smooth by centuries. The walls are covered in carved stone faces. That’s the detail that makes me pause and snap back to the present, my senses once again alert. Their features are grotesque but undeniably human, with gaping mouths and hollow eye sockets that seem to watch us.
I recognize the challenge and reach out to stop Castien from descending.
He recoils from my touch, pressing himself against the wall.
I step back quickly, giving him space.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to...” I clear my throat. “I just need to tell you what we’re about to go through.”
