And how dare I let him?
Jules tightened the reins around me. He’d confiscated my phone again and started posting guards outside my bedroom door. Neither Mia nor Elsie was allowed to come over all weekend, and I was also forbidden from returning to rehearsals. Jules didn’t care that I’d worked my entire life to get the role of Juliet. All he cared about was keeping me away from Alek.
Every rule felt like another hand at my spine, pushing me into a position I hadn’t chosen.
But he didn’t realize that every one of his actions only strengthened my resolve.
Something in me had already tipped past the point of return. I needed to take control of my own life, not let my older brother boss me around. But I also had to be smart about things. I couldn’t blow up on Jules while he was still fuming. That risked him getting even angrier and doubling down on his efforts to punish me.
So I bided my time. I hid out in my bedroom and thought about how I could ever make things right with Alek. Every time I closed my eyes, I pictured the shuttered look on his face, the disappointment coupled with the lack of surprise that I had picked another.
But that was the thing: I hadn’t picked my brother. And I hadn’t picked Alek either. I was finally picking myself, the girl who liked who she was when she had a man who lifted her to new heights. If only Jules understood that.
I hadn’t chosen my brother that day in the theater. I had merely been shocked at the fact that he’d caught us and asked me to fight on the spot for Alek when it was a battle I was destined to lose. And I knew my brother well enough to know that no matter what I said then, he wouldn’t have accepted it.
Jules was a stubborn wall of fire and flames. If I pushed him too hard too quickly, he would simply consume everything around him. So to be successful, I would need a slow, steady stream of cooling water—not more heat.
I avoided him. I took my meals in my room, and I refused to look him in the eye. He was not the loving brother I knew well. He was a man overrun by fear.
If only I had a way to show him that there was nothing to fear. That I was strong enough to handle myself.
By the time Monday rolled around, Jules was furious. I’d gone days without speaking to him, and it was clear that I had no intention to break that. Before, I’d at least deigned to look at him. Now, I didn’t give him the luxury.
So I wasn’t surprised when, as I was putting sweatpants over my leotard and skirt, Jules barged into my room, fists clenched at his side and his eyes like molten chocolate. “Where the fuck do you think you’re going, Evangeline?”
“To rehearsal. I’ve already missed enough practice,” I said as I moved to step into the bathroom so I could tie my hair back into a bun.
My brother blocked my path. His arms pressed against the doorframe, and his jaw hardened. “Evangeline, you don’t seem to understand that you’re not fucking leaving. And you’re especially not going to go somewhere thatheowns.”
A familiar anger rose, the same one that had been simmering for weeks ever since Jules tried to pull us apart. Instead of shoving it back down to that box inside of me that I kept locked tight, I let myself feel the unfamiliar emotion, let it bubble in my veins while my inner voice kept repeating one thing.
“How dare he?”
And then another one, a richer, deeper, stronger one that said, “I love you, Evangeline.”
It was time, for once, to let love win.
“No, Jules,” I said coolly, and it shocked even me how steady my voice sounded. I tossed aside my need to please everyone for once in my life. Instead, I focused onmypleasure, whatIwanted.
Alek.
“You don’t seem to understand that I am going to ballet rehearsal. We are running the whole show today, and I am going to be there. I am going to dance as Juliet, and then I willmaybeconsider coming back if you actually start speaking to me with respect like a fellow adult instead of a kid.”
While Jules stood, slack-jawed, I ducked under his shoulder and began to work on my hair. My bun wasn’t perfect, but for once, I didn’t feel the need to make it that way. I was happy with how I was, perfection be damned.
He opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off with a wave of my hand. I grabbed my duffel bag and slipped on my sneakers before narrowing my eyes at him.
“And another thing,” I continued, my tone harder than it had ever been. “Alek makes me happier than I’ve ever been, and he’s never asked me to change who I am to fit into a cage. But I don’t know if I can say the same thing about you right now. So Alek and I are going to be together. So you can either accept that and stand by my side as my brother, or you can live the rest of your life knowing you lost a sister because of the choicesyoumade.”
And then I walked out the door, feeling lighter than I ever had in years.
March 7th
Evangeline
Alek?
*missed call from Evangeline*
