Just as we’re packing up from tutoring, the feeling of someone's eyes on me makes me look over.
Coop is standing a few feet away, leaning against a bookshelf, giving me his golden boy smile and my fucking heart melts. It starts to race, putting me into a full body sweat. I swear I forget to breathe.
“All done here?” he asks, biting his lower lip. I used to think that looked stupid when people did it. Now I find it hot. I find him hot. He makes me hot. Dear god, is it hot in here?
“He’s all yours, big guy,” Bailey says, patting his arm as she passes.
“Hey.” I slide my backpack on, then wrap my arms around myself. Ever since I realized how I feel about Cooper, I’ve been acting weird. I know he can sense it, I just hope he doesn’t think I’m second guessing being friends with him, when it’s really the complete opposite.
“Did you drive here today?”
“Ah, yeah, why?” Lately, I’ve been leaving my car at home because Cooper has been picking me up and bringing me back. But I knew he had to stay late for some football stuff today and didn’t want to put him out.
“Mind if I get a ride?” he asks.
“Didn’t you drive?” My brows furrow. I saw him get out of his car this morning when we met up for coffee.
“Yeah, but I let one of my buddies borrow it. He’s got a date with a chick a few towns over.”
“Oh. Yeah, of course.”
“Thanks.” He grins. “Sorry for making you go out of your way.”
We start walking toward the door. I look up at him and roll my eyes. “Really? You go out of your way to get me all the time. It’s the least I can do.”
“I mean, carpooling saves gas. Don’t you want to help the environment?”
“Whatever you tell yourself.” I chuckle, shaking my head.
***
If you told me I’d be going to multiple football games over the past two months, I’d have told you that you were out of your mind.
But here I am, at game number I-have-no-idea, sitting next to my friends, watching Cooper play.
Friends. I have friends. It still boggles my mind that this is my life now.
I used to think it was only a pipe dream, but I guess my mom was right when she used to tell me that things will get better as I get older. That people grow and mature with time and it wouldn’t always be like this. I never believed her; how could I see a hope for something better when life was so damn awful?
Mom was the only one who knew about the bullying in high school. I begged her not to tell Nina, because it wasn’t my sister's job to defend me, or take pity on me.
Mom didn’t like that Nina didn’t know, but I assured her it wasn’t any of her friends that were mean, just the people they associated with. I didn’t want to affect Nina’s social life just because people hated me. They loved her. As they should. She’s an amazing girl.
If it wasn’t for Nina begging me to tutor Cooper, I might never have experienced any of this.
So much has changed, in all the best ways. As I got closer to the girls and Cooper, the lingering doubt and wariness that this was all some fucked up cosmic joke started to fade. For the first time ever, I feel confident in my place within this group.
The only relationship I’m not too sure where I stand is with the insanely attractive six-three, golden boy football player, who’s currently kicking ass out on the field.
I’ve even stooped so low as to start wearing school colors and other team merch.
Val calls it school spirit, but I don’t care about anyone else on the field. Just Cooper. Only Cooper.
“He’s killing it out there,” Ellie says, bouncing with excitement.
“Right?” Val squeals. “And did you see how he looked when he came over to get a drink? All that sweaty hair.” Val fans herself.
“Are you getting all hot and bothered by a gay man? A gay man who’s your best friend?” I grumble to Val, green seeping back in. I know it’s stupid, it’s all harmless, but I still get the urge to mark my territory or something. That's the messed up part, because Cooper isn’t mine to be possessive over, even though I want him to be. Damn it, I want him to be so badly.
