Rylee: OMG!!! Blake, baby! I’m so happy for you!
Me: Happy for me for what?! Wanna let me in on what we’re happy about, because I'm so damn confused.
Davis: Babe. I’m pretty sure you like the guy. And I’m not talking about just a little crush. He makes you feel safe, seen and wanted, yes?
Me: More than anyone in the world ever has.
Rylee: Then I think you might be in love.
I stare at the screen, my heart pounding a mile a minute.Love? No way. I’ve only known the guy for a month. Maybe a little crush, but love?
Me: Let’s not be crazy. I’ve only known him for a month, it’s too soon for love.
Rylee: There’s no timeline on feelings, babe. You feel what you feel, for the reasons you feel it for. He’s your safe place. The place you feel the most you. What about his friends, do you feel the same towards them? You spend a lot of time with them too.
Me: No. I mean, I like them. They’re nice people. They make me happy and I feel comfortable around them. Just not the way I feel when I’m with Cooper.
Davis: I’m going with what Rylee said. You have feelings. Hard. And that might be terrifying to you. I know it is every time I feel something for someone new. But don’t let that get in the way. This is exciting and something great.
My hands shake and I feel like I’m going to be sick. Are they right? Do I have feelings for him? Like, more than friends?
Me: I just don’t know.
Rylee: What do you feel when you think about him flirting with another man, going on dates, kissing someone else? Like, if he was to get a boyfriend, wouldyou be supportive, like a friend would, or do you think you would feel something else?
The idea of Cooper touching someone else in any way makes bile rise in the back of my throat, and a new wave of panic hits me.
Me: It makes me want to cry? God, I feel so fucking stupid saying that. And it also makes me want to puke, and freak the fuck out. Maybe punch the nonexistent person in the face? And I don’t do violence!
Rylee: I think you have your answer, babe.
Me: What if he doesn’t feel the same way?
Davis: Talk to him. Tell him how you feel. From the sounds of this guy, I think there’s a good possibility he feels the same way. But you won’t know unless you talk.
Me: How about a less terrifying option?
Rylee: If you run, you have the possibility of losing him. Don’t let this eat at you. Take it slow, look for the signs if you need more proof before you dive in, if you have to.
Me: Okay. Let me think on this.
Rylee: Good luck, babe! We’re here for you.
Davis: You got this! Go get your man.
In Cooper’s room I find some clothes folded on the bed like he mentioned.
Grabbing them, I head down to the bathroom to shower. Placing them on the counter, I go to grab a towel, but don’t see any.
After searching in a few places and not finding anything, I head back upstairs to ask Cooper. He’s not in his room anymore. How long does this man shower for?
Not wanting to stand around and wait like an idiot, I go to his bathroom.
The door is cracked and I can hear the water running. So heisstill in the shower.
Peeking through the crack, I see a shelf full of towels. Do I knock and let him know I need to grab one, or just sneak in and take one quickly?
As I’m trying to decide what to do, a moan coming from the bathroom has me pausing.
